How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Self Development Collective

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QUALIFIED: How Competency Checking and Race Collide at Work with Shari Dunn | 284 33:58

7 days ago33:58

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In this episode, we delve into the concept of being "qualified" in the workplace, examining who gets labeled as such, who doesn't, and the underlying reasons. We explore "competency checking"—the practice of scrutinizing individuals' abilities—and how it disproportionately affects underrepresented groups, often going unnoticed or unchallenged. Our discussion aims to redefine qualifications in a fair, equitable, and actionable manner. Our guest, Shari Dunn , is an accomplished journalist, former attorney, news anchor, CEO, university professor, and sought-after speaker. She has been recognized as Executive of the Year and a Woman of Influence, with her work appearing in Fortune Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, Ad Age, and more. Her new book, Qualified: How Competency Checking and Race Collide at Work , unpacks what it truly means to be deserving and capable—and why systemic barriers, not personal deficits, are often the real problem. Her insights challenge the narratives that hold so many of us back and offer practical solutions for building a more equitable future. Together, we can build workplaces and communities that don’t just reflect the world we live in, but the one we want to create. A world where being qualified is about recognizing the talent and potential that’s been overlooked for far too long. It’s not just about getting a seat at the table—it’s about building an entirely new table, one designed with space for all of us. Connect with Our Guest Shari Dunn Website& Book - Qualified: https://thesharidunn.com LI: https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/sharidunn TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesharidunn Related Podcast Episodes: How To Build Emotionally Mature Leaders with Dr. Christie Smith | 272 Holding It Together: Women As America's Safety Net with Jessica Calarco | 215 How To Defy Expectations with Dr. Sunita Sah | 271 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music…

5 years ago 21:02

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Do you feel like you get stuck in the comparison game? Me too! In this episode I discuss some mindset tips to help stop you comparing yourself to others. These tips are things I learnt through personal stories and discussions that have helped me to stop comparing myself and my success to others.
I cover:

A great reminder every time you look at someone's success and achievements and compare it to your own
Some advice that helped me stop comparing myself when I was at the lowest point in my life
Why we compare and what finally helped me to stop comparing myself
A practical tip to stop self comparison
How self comparison is about perspective
One simple piece of advice to trust your journey and stop comparing it to others

Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges.

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92 episod

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How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Self Development Collective

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published 5 years ago

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A great reminder every time you look at someone's success and achievements and compare it to your own
Some advice that helped me stop comparing myself when I was at the lowest point in my life
Why we compare and what finally helped me to stop comparing myself
A practical tip to stop self comparison
How self comparison is about perspective
One simple piece of advice to trust your journey and stop comparing it to others

Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges.

https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/

92 episod

#Fitness #Self Development Collective #Society #Relationship #Mental Health #Philosophy #Feel Like

Semua episod

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How to Make a Habit That Actually Sticks // Habits & Weekly Routines 11:10

8 days ago11:10

11:10

How to Make a Habit That Actually Sticks: The Weekly Approach to Consistency Feeling the pressure to maintain perfect daily habits? In this episode, I reveal why the "never skip a day" mentality might actually be sabotaging your consistency. Drawing from personal experience, I share three practical strategies that transformed my approach to habit-building, making habits more enjoyable and sustainable. Discover how thinking weekly instead of daily, connecting habits to core values, and embracing flexibility can help you maintain consistency without the guilt. Whether you're struggling with how to make a habit stick or looking to create a weekly routine that honors your natural rhythm, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on consistent habit-building that works in real life. Why Traditional Approaches to Making Habits Can Be A Struggle Through my experience as both a content creator and parent, I've discovered that the hustle culture mentality of never skipping habits creates unnecessary pressure. I explain how shifting from a daily to a weekly mindset transformed my relationship with habits, making them more enjoyable and sustainable long-term. 3 Powerful Strategies for How to Make a Habit Consistent I outline three game-changing approaches that have helped me maintain consistency with my habits: • Connecting habits deeply to your values gives you a meaningful "why" behind each action • Thinking weekly instead of daily removes the pressure of perfection • Recognizing there are multiple ways to live out your values provides needed flexibility. How to Create a Weekly Routine That Fits Your Life Using my podcasting journey as an example, I demonstrate how understanding my core value of connection allowed me to: • Shift from an unsustainable twice-weekly schedule to a more aligned bi-weekly approach • Implement seasons in my content creation for better work-life balance • Enhance both my content quality and personal connections The Secret to Making Habits That Last: Flexibility Over Perfection Discover how consistency doesn't have to mean doing the same thing every day by: • Setting flexible weekly goals that respect your natural rhythm • Choosing different ways to fulfill the same value on different days • Removing the guilt from days when habits don't happen as planned Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life's challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/ #HowToMakeAHabit #WeeklyRoutine #ConsistentHabits #PersonalGrowth #SelfDevelopment…

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How to set goals & habits that motivate you // personal goal setting & examples of life goals 15:03

20 days ago15:03

15:03

How to Set Goals and Habits That Actually Motivate You: A Simple Framework Want to learn how to set goals and habits that genuinely excite you? In this episode, I share my personal framework for setting goals and habits that connect deeply with your values, making them naturally motivating rather than another item on your should-do list. Why Traditional Ways to Set Goals and Habits Often Feel Challenging Through my podcasting experience, I reveal why traditional SMART goals and rigid habits weren't enough. Learn how I transformed my approach to setting goals and habits by connecting them to core values, shifting from external pressure to internal motivation. Essential Steps to Set Goals and Habits That Stick I share a three-step process to set goals and habits aligned with your values. Discover how understanding the crucial "just because" factor in habit formation can transform your approach. Learn practical methods for setting habits across personal life, work, and relationships, plus how to convert your goals into specific, actionable habits that last. Real-Life Examples of Setting Meaningful Goals and Habits Using my journey as an example, I demonstrate how setting habits based on my value of connection transformed everything from my content creation to family time. Learn how I shifted from setting overwhelming goals to creating aligned, achievable habits that feel natural and sustainable. How to Set Goals and Habits That Feel Authentic Discover how this framework helps you set habits that honor your natural rhythm while maintaining consistency. Perfect for anyone looking to move beyond traditional goal setting to create deeply motivating, value-aligned habits. Join me to learn how setting goals and habits with purpose can transform your approach to personal development. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/ #PersonalDevelopment #GoalSetting #Habits #PersonalGrowth #LifeGoals…

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Q&A: Setting Emotional Boundaries & Feeling Guilt 16:37

6 weeks ago16:37

16:37

In this episode, I address a powerful Q&A from a listener about navigating emotional boundaries, particularly with a narcissistic presence. 🛡️✨ Join me as I share practical steps and draw from my journey, offering strategies to start setting emotional boundaries and working with the weight of guilt. 🚀 Key Insights: Why emotional boundaries can be tricky Two ways we can work with the feelings of guilt that come with setting emotional boundaries Simple steps that we can journal This discussion is not just about setting boundaries, feeling empowered to navigate emotional boundaries, and getting to know our guilt. ❤️ ❤️ Have a Q you'd like A? Share your question here 👇 https://forms.gle/41exzfEMEBA2TvmR7 Related Episodes: ❤️ Boundaries With A Narcissistic Parent https://selfdevelopmentcollective.podbean.com/e/boundaries-with-a-narcissistic-parent-setting-boundaries-with-toxic-parents-advice/ Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Feeling overwhelmed by goals and goal setting? One idea that can change that! 20:02

6 weeks ago20:02

20:02

Hey guys! In this episode of The Self Development Collective, I'm diving into something I haven't talked about in ages - goal setting. But here's the thing: I'm approaching it totally differently than I used to. I've been watching heaps of YouTube content lately (you know I've been loving Molly Mae!), and with the start of the year, there's been so much stuff about productivity and goal setting. And it got me thinking - why have I been avoiding setting proper goals for so long? This episode came from a really honest place of reflection. You know those moments when you look back at old journals and realize how much has changed? That's exactly what sparked this conversation. I dive deep into my journey with goal setting - from being someone who had pages and pages of goals and productivity systems, to completely avoiding them, to finally finding a way that actually works for me. In this episode, I open up about my own experiences and share some really personal stories that completely transformed how I think about creating the life we want. I explore why traditional goal-setting methods weren't working for me, and share a powerful realization about vision boards that might surprise you. This episode is perfect for you if: You've ever felt overwhelmed by traditional goal setting You're tired of chasing goals that don't feel meaningful You want to approach your dreams in a way that actually feels good You're looking for a more authentic way to create the life you want You're ready to think about goal setting in a completely different way This is actually part one of a series where I'll be breaking down a completely different approach to goal setting - one that's changed everything for me. I share some really vulnerable moments and practical insights that I hope will help shift your perspective too. I can't wait to hear what resonates with you from this episode. Drop a comment or shoot me an email to let me know your thoughts! #GoalSetting #PersonalDevelopment #RealTalk #AuthenticLiving #SelfDevelopment #MeaningfulGoals Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Growth vs. Change: Embracing Personal Growth in the New Year 17:19

10 weeks ago17:19

17:19

Growth vs. Change: Embracing Personal Growth in the New Year Episode Description: A Journey of Personal Growth 🎧 Hey guys! I'm so excited to share this transformative episode with you. After having my baby (he's two months old now!), I've been doing a lot of reflection on how we approach growth and development, and I want to share something that's completely shifted my perspective. The Power of Personal Growth Over Change You know how at the end of every year, we talk about all the things we want to change about ourselves? Through my deep dive into psychotherapy and personal growth work, I've discovered something game-changing about how we approach our inner journey. What if instead of forcing change, we embraced understanding through curiosity? Key Insights for Transformation In this episode about authentic development, I share openly about: * Why fighting against parts of ourselves blocks genuine growth and leads to disconnection * How my relationship with anger transformed into a powerful catalyst for understanding * The breakthrough moment in my journey when I stopped trying to change and started getting curious * Why understanding our emotions is crucial for sustainable transformation * Practical strategies for embracing all parts of ourselves in our development journey Real Talk About Personal Growth I get really honest about my experiences - like being labeled "the angry one" and how that impacted my path to understanding myself. Through exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychotherapy (I'm obsessed with Martha Sweezy's work!), I've discovered that real personal growth happens when we get curious about what our emotions are trying to tell us. A Fresh Perspective on Personal Growth This episode is perfect if you're feeling stuck in your journey or tired of traditional self-help advice. I share raw, authentic experiences about how shifting from "how can I change?" to "how can I grow?" has transformed my approach to development and understanding. Embracing Your Whole Self And as I always say - take what resonates, leave what doesn't. But I'm really curious to see how this new perspective might transform the way you work with all parts of yourself. Join me in this honest conversation about growth, where we explore how understanding ourselves, rather than trying to change ourselves, might be the key to authentic transformation. Stay Connected Follow along with my content: * New episodes every two weeks * Deep dives into psychological concepts made accessible * Real-life applications for your journey of growth Links Mentioned The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner https://www.amazon.com.au/Dance-Anger-Changing-Patterns-Relationships/dp/0062319043 Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt by Martha Sweezy https://amzn.asia/d/5qmcKlh #PersonalGrowth #AuthenticGrowth #SelfDevelopment #IFSTherapy #EmotionalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #MentalHealth #PersonalTransformation #GrowthMindset #EmotionalIntelligence Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Conflict Resolution in Relationships: How To Repair After Anger 10:38

10 weeks ago10:38

10:38

Conflict Resolution in Relationships: How To Repair After Anger Hey everyone. In this episode of the Self Development Collective, I want to share something really personal about conflict resolution in relationships - and honestly, I'm diving into this topic because it's something I struggle with myself. I'll tell you about a recent situation that happened with my mom, my eight-week-old baby, and a Christmas tree that taught me so much about handling family conflicts. What You'll Learn: A practical four-step framework for resolving relationship conflicts after intense emotional moments Why taking space after conflict can lead to deeper connection and understanding How to communicate your feelings authentically without causing more damage The importance of honoring your emotional experience while repairing relationships Key Topics Covered: My personal story of navigating a sensitive family situation as a new mom How losing my brother changed my perspective on family conflicts and connection Real-life application of the conflict resolution framework The transformative power of vulnerability in relationship repair I break down the framework that's really helped me repair relationships after those heated moments. Through my own story of moving from intense anger to a beautiful reconnection with my mom, I show how this framework works in real life. I'm completely open about my struggles - like feeling punished for taking rest as a new mom, and the complicated emotions that come with missing special moments with my kids. This episode is perfect for anyone feeling stuck after a conflict, wondering how to make things right. Whether you're dealing with family tensions, partner disagreements, or friendship conflicts, I share practical tools that have transformed my own relationships and can help you find your way back to connection, even after those really tough moments. Remember: repair is always possible, and sometimes those post-conflict conversations can lead to even deeper understanding and stronger bonds. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Changing Your Life (And Why It Can Be A Struggle) 11:38

12 weeks ago11:38

11:38

🎧 Hi there! I'm so excited to share this episode with you where I dive into why changing your life through personal development can feel so impossible sometimes. After taking almost a year off to have my baby and study, I've been thinking deeply about why some self development ideas around changing your life often leave us feeling more stuck than before. In this episode, I share my own journey with changing my life - from standing in a parking lot trying desperately to "think positive" at 20 years old, to discovering why these strategies weren't helping me grow. I talk about: Why replacing challenging thoughts with gratitude lists isn't always the path to changing your life How our "negative" parts often serve important protective functions What happened when I started reading psychotherapy books to help myself change Why understanding ourselves is more powerful than trying to force change How I'm bridging complex psychological concepts into simple, actionable strategies through The Self Development Collective to support inner growth This episode is perfect if you've ever felt frustrated with advice that tells you to "just think positive" or "eliminate your inner critic" when changing your life. I'm releasing new episodes every two weeks, bringing you accessible strategies based on powerful psychological concepts. Because I believe changing your life starts with truly understanding ourselves. #ChangingYourLife #PersonalDevelopment #LifeTransformation #SelfGrowth #PracticalPsychology #MentalHealth #SelfUnderstanding #PersonalGrowth Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Q&A: What To Do With My Life // Questions To Figure It Out 6:29

1 year ago6:29

6:29

The next Q&A episode is up. This listener sought guidance on what to do with their life and where to start. In this episode, we delve into practical advice and reflective questions designed to guide you toward a more prosperous and fulfilling life. 🚀 Key Insights: ✨ Explore the vision of a truly prosperous life and how it aligns with your goals and values. ✨Define the kind of relationships, work, and experiences that contribute to your ideal life. ✨ Learn the art of taking the first step towards personal improvement and addressing obstacles for inner growth. ✨ Understand the significance of embracing what holds you back as a path to wisdom and transformation. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Q&A Feeling Like We’re Getting Nowhere, Dreams Not Going To Plan 15:39

1 year ago15:39

15:39

Q&A Feeling Like We're Getting Nowhere, Dreams Not Going To Plan ☁️❌ Join me in this Q&A episode where we tackle the question many of us grapple with: Am I on the right life path? We explore the rollercoaster of emotions that come with pursuing a dream, especially when faced with rejection and setbacks. I share some personal insights and practical advice for those moments when it all feels a bit too much. From taking a breather and reassessing plans to appreciating internal growth, we discuss the multifaceted journey of personal and professional development. If you need guidance on navigating doubts and weariness, this episode is for you! 🚀 Key Insights: ✨ Listen to Your Body: Taking a step back when feeling exhausted is crucial. ✨ Reconnect with Your Dream: Explore the feelings and values behind your passion. ✨ Adjusting Strategies: Learn the importance of tweaking plans when faced with challenges. ✨Celebrate Personal Progress: Take a moment to appreciate your growth. ✨ Fueling Hope: Find inspiration in others' journeys and trust the passion that propels you forward. Have a Q you'd like A? Share your question here 👇 https://forms.gle/41exzfEMEBA2TvmR7 Related Episodes: ❤️ Boundaries With A Narcissistic Parent https://selfdevelopmentcollective.podbean.com/e/feeling-like-a-failure-advice-on-how-to-deal-with-feelings-of-failure/ Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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The Inner Critic, Feeling Judged & Taking On Criticism 13:01

1 year ago13:01

13:01

In this video, I discuss the challenges of dealing with feedback and the inner critic when we try to put ourselves out there. I share my personal experience of receiving feedback that questioned the combination of my grief coaching and life coaching work. I explore the dilemma of choosing between different aspects of myself and the fear of being judged. I also introduce the concept of determining our job in terms of showing up authentically and not trying to convince others of our worth. This video offers strategies for navigating feedback and making aligned decisions. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Finding Meaning In Life With Grief and Loss // Living With Loss & Finding Meaning 15:01

2 years ago15:01

15:01

Finding Meaning In Life With Grief and Loss. In this episode, I share my experience and life advice on finding meaning in life with grief and loss. I share my experience in coping with grief and loss and how to find meaning in life by using the experience to further fuel us in living purposefully with the legacy of our loved ones. Coping with grief and living with loss is an experience that we figure out slowly. In this episode, I share how it's changed my life and how I've found meaning while still coping with grief and living with loss. Finding meaning in life with grief and loss can be challenging. I hope this episode provides a light in your own grief and loss journey. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Does Grief Ever Feel/Get Better? // Coping With Grief And Loss 4:34

2 years ago4:34

4:34

Does Grief Ever Feel/Get Better? // Coping With Grief And Loss In this short episode, I discuss whether grief ever feels or gets better. At the beginning of my grief journey, I kept wondering, "Will this ever get better?". Coping with grief & loss can feel so overwhelming and exhausting that it's common for us to wonder if it will always be like this or if it will ever get better. In this episode, I answer through my experience whether grief ever gets better or feels better. This is a simple episode to offer more support in their grief and share with them some ideas on coping with grief and loss. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Coping With Grief // Acceptance Stage of Grief // Does It Ever Get Easier? 10:17

2 years ago10:17

10:17

Coping With Grief // Acceptance Stage of Grief // Does It Ever Get Easier? In this episode, I chat through one of the grief stages that I struggled with the most - acceptance. Thinking of the grief stages after the death of a loved one gives us a sense of direction. But the grief stage of acceptance is one I struggled to cope with. In this episode I talk about coping with grief and dealing with loss and if it ever gets better. I share what the grief stage of acceptance looks like for me and chat about whether grief and loss ever get better. As always take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ❤️ Everybody's experience of grief is different and I can only share what I feel and know from my perspective. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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How To Grieve // What Helps Me Cope With Grief During Milestones & Anniversaries 14:47

2 years ago14:47

14:47

How To Grieve // Milestones & Anniversaries In this episode, I share ways to grieve and cope with grief when it comes to milestones and anniversaries. Everyone’s grief is different, and every experience is different. So this episode isn’t about how you should grieve but suggestions that have helped me learn how to grieve a death during milestones and celebrations. One of the most challenging experiences of grief and loss for me has been milestones and anniversaries. In this episode, I share how to deal with grief during these experiences. Again keep what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Everyone copes and grieves differently, and I only hope you’ll find something that resonates with you. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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Grief Stages After Death // Stages I Wish I’d Heard Earlier (Not The 5 Stages of Grief) 12:22

2 years ago12:22

12:22

Grief Stages After Death // Stages I wish I’d Heard Earlier (Not The 5 Stages of Grief) The five stages of grief were the first thing I thought of when I started my grief journey and was trying to figure out how to grieve. After reading more about coping with grief and dealing with grief, I came across two ideas on grief stages after death that resembled and explained what I had been through and was going through as I learned how to grieve a death. In this episode, I share these grief stages (which aren’t the five stages of grief). Instead, they’re stages that have given me insight into dealing with grief and learning how to grieve. Join our bi-weekly journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Receive bite-sized insights and practical strategies to boost your confidence, nurture relationships, and live authentically in the face of life’s challenges. https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/…

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