5 Traits: Risk of Trauma Bond

Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab

Here are the top five risk factors that make you prone to entering a trauma-bonded relationship:

1. Insecure Attachment Style: Many of us, including you and me, might have an insecure attachment style, which can lead to difficult relationship patterns. Feeling unworthy of love, fearing rejection, and oscillating between wanting love and avoiding rejection are common issues. This insecurity can lead us to seek validation from unhealthy sources, reinforcing our feelings of unworthiness.
2. Low Self-Esteem: Low self-worth often manifests in our inability to set boundaries and express needs. Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships, but if you or I don't feel worthy, we might not enforce them, leading to a cycle of neglect and unmet needs. In toxic relationships, our self-esteem can plummet, causing us to neglect our own needs and boundaries.
3. Achiever or Perfectionistic Traits: High achievers and perfectionists often have a strong inner critic and believe they must continuously prove their worth. This can attract partners with narcissistic tendencies who criticize and devalue us, reinforcing our inner doubts and pushing us into a cycle of trying to earn their approval.
4. High Empathy and Sensitivity: If you’re highly empathic or a people-pleaser, you might be at risk. You might overemphasize a partner's good traits, even if they treat you poorly most of the time. This overempathy leads you to make excuses for their behavior, seeing only the good and ignoring the bad. This can create a cycle of self-sacrifice, where you feel responsible for their happiness and overlook your own needs.
5. History of Childhood Abuse or Neglect: Childhood trauma significantly impacts adult relationships. If you faced neglect, you might normalize this treatment and work harder to prove your worth in adulthood. If you experienced abuse, you might always walk on eggshells, aiming to please others and maintain peace. This makes it difficult to recognize and express your needs and emotions, leading to relationships that echo these harmful patterns.

Recognizing these risk factors can help you heal and create healthier relationship patterns. It’s important to ground yourself in your own worth and set clear boundaries. Your worth is infinite, and you deserve relationships that reflect that. If you need further support, feel free to reach out through the details provided

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