#113 - Unintentionally Hurting a Friend: (encore with my mom)

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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<div class="span index">1</div> <span><a class="" data-remote="true" data-type="html" href="/series/uncuffed">Uncuffed</a></span>

1
Uncuffed

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13 days ago13d ago

Batal langganan

Bulanan

Uncuffed empowers people in California prisons to tell their own stories. The award-winning collaboration between incarcerated student producers and professional journalists shines light on the human experience of people before, during, and after their prison terms. The new Season 4 is hosted by formerly incarcerated producer Greg Eskridge. https://www.WeAreUncuffed.org

about a year ago 24:36

MP3•Laman utama episod

So, you've unintentionally hurt your friend's feelings. Or, your friend hurt your feelings, likely not on purpose. My wise mom joins me in this replay episode about forgiveness---asking for forgiveness and wanting apologies from others. We also discussed grudges, forgiving but not forgetting, personal stories of our own pettiness and others' pettiness, and more.

LINKS MENTIONED:

The 20 questions my husband uses for self-reflection around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

The article I wrote for Kveller in 2014, “Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come”

The article I wrote for The Jewish Daily Forward in 2013, “The Benefit of the Doubt for the New Year”

Other episodes featuring my mom:

Two quotes by Maggie Smith in her book, Keep Moving:

“Maybe we say ‘holding a grudge’ because that kind of resentment is a heavy thing you have to wrap your arms around to carry. Holding it weighs you down, not the other person. Set it down anytime. Right now, for instance. Keep moving.”“Expect that what you tend to will grow. Expect that what you feed with your care and attention, what you shine your light on, will thrive. Choose wisely. Keep moving.”

Quote from my mom on grudges:

“Well, you’ve heard this before. People say that holding a grudge weighs you down, not the other person. So that’s how forgiveness is tied into grudge holding. If you can forgive somebody and keep moving forward, it’s much better for you psychologically.”

Let's connect over all things friendship!

My Substack newsletter about friendship & more
Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest
Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads
JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group
Ask an anonymous question

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

143 episod

#Society #Relationship #Self-Improvement #Nina Badzin #Friendship #Friends #Advice #Fitness #Podcasting Education #Mental Health #Make Friends #Breakup #Connection

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

#113 - Unintentionally Hurting a Friend: (encore with my mom)

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

published about a year ago

Kongsi

MP3•Laman utama episod

LINKS MENTIONED:

The 20 questions my husband uses for self-reflection around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

The article I wrote for Kveller in 2014, “Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come”

The article I wrote for The Jewish Daily Forward in 2013, “The Benefit of the Doubt for the New Year”

Other episodes featuring my mom:

Two quotes by Maggie Smith in her book, Keep Moving:

“Maybe we say ‘holding a grudge’ because that kind of resentment is a heavy thing you have to wrap your arms around to carry. Holding it weighs you down, not the other person. Set it down anytime. Right now, for instance. Keep moving.”“Expect that what you tend to will grow. Expect that what you feed with your care and attention, what you shine your light on, will thrive. Choose wisely. Keep moving.”

Quote from my mom on grudges:

“Well, you’ve heard this before. People say that holding a grudge weighs you down, not the other person. So that’s how forgiveness is tied into grudge holding. If you can forgive somebody and keep moving forward, it’s much better for you psychologically.”

Let's connect over all things friendship!

My Substack newsletter about friendship & more
Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest
Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads
JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group
Ask an anonymous question

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

143 episod

#Society #Relationship #Self-Improvement #Nina Badzin #Friendship #Friends #Advice #Fitness #Podcasting Education #Mental Health #Make Friends #Breakup #Connection

Semua episod

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#136 - Your Three to Five Closest Friends (Letter Spotlight) with Rebekah Jacobs 27:59

2 days ago27:59

27:59

What if you have lots of friends, but nobody feels like your special confidante or the person who would have your back no matter what? The newest letter spotlight episode comes from a listener who signed off as "Too Many Fish in the Sea." She feels lucky to have cultivated a wide community and plenty of friends, but she doesn't feel like she has super close friends. Joining me to answer the letter is my assistant producer , Rebekah Jacobs. Rebekah has been working with me for a while, but I wanted to get her on the mic so you can hear why I adore working with her so much. AND we're good friends---newer good friends--with our own friendship story to share. We discussed concrete ways for getting closer to people you already like and creating deeper bonds: increase the frequency of your time together, share good news, be "messy," ask for a favor, change the venue, and become beginners together. MEET REBEKAH JACOBS: Rebekah has been a reading specialist and writing instructor for over 20 years, teaching in Boston, Chicago, DC, and Los Angeles. Currently, she teaches college writing in DC, and her own writing has been featured in Kveller . As assistant producer for Dear Nina, she is passionate about ideation and brainstorming creative concepts. She tries to read 80 books a year and loves TV—though, unlike Nina, cooking and tech are not her strong suit. She lives with her husband, three kids, and a goldendoodle named Peanut. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: Episode #19: with Rebekah Jacobs-- Novels and Memoirs About Friendship Episode #62: with Leslie Hooten-- The Friendship of the Weekly Walking Partners Episode #173: with Ruchi Koval-- I'm Just Not Into This Friendship Episode #126 with Anna Goldfarb-- Is it Time For a Friendship Cleanse? Episode #134 with SC Perot-- Fandom and the Potential for Friendship Anna's book: Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections Rebekah mentioned: The Five Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom and a Laurie Santos reference to a beautiful mess here from Date Like A Scientist. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#135 - The Hyperlocal Friendship Challenge 19:02

8 days ago19:02

19:02

There are local friends and there are “HYPERLOCAL” friends. This month in the Dear Nina community, we’re focusing on hyperlocal friendships—developing new ones and maintaining the ones you already have in your life. I introduce the March friendship challenge in this episode, which of course you can start any day of ANY MONTH. The challenge this month focuses on hyperlocal friendships, emphasizing the significance of proximity in building connections. I share some personal anecdotes and practical tips for engaging with friends in your neighborhood or at least nearby. I’m encouraging listeners to take actionable steps to add this important layer to their social lives. As always, the Dear Nina friendship challenges help you to become a better friend and have better friendships. Stay in touch and let me know how it’s going in the Dear Nina Facebook group , through my newsletter at dearnina.substack.com , or on Instagram at @dearninafriendship . LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: Episode #127: January challenge --See a Friend in Person Episode #131: February challenge --Start a Ritual with Friends Fragile Neighborhoods by Seth D. Kaplan Dear Nina episodes and social clips are made using Descript . LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#134 - Fandom and the Potential for Friendship: with SC Perot 37:47

16 days ago37:47

37:47

MAKING FRIENDS IN A FANDOM COMMUNITY Fandom, especially very enthusiastic fandom, can provide community, belonging, and friendship. In episode #134 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I'm joined by Vanderbilt professor, lawyer, author, and joy enthusiast, SC Perot , who shares her story of rediscovering joy after a devastating divorce, highlighting how her newfound interest in Harry Styles and the community surrounding his concerts provided a much-needed escape and a way to connect with people who wanted to discuss something other than divorce. A formerly-casual fan of Harry Styles, SC ended up attending 17 Harry Styles concerts in five countries! SC and I discuss her memoir Styles of Joy: A Feel-Good Framework for Rediscovering Joy (with a Twist!) , which encompass her study of joy, the importance of being open to new experiences, the power of shared interests in fostering new friendships, the particular qualities of emotional generosity and uncomplicated friendships in fan communities. This conversation highlights the significance of community and the joy that comes from the deep love of a musician, team, book series, or anything where a fan community forms . Ultimately, all friends start as strangers, and fan communities are a great place to bond with strangers over a shared passion. MEET SC PEROT Sarah Catherine "SC" Perot was born and raised in Dallas, Texas, and currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She is a proud graduate of Vanderbilt University and Stanford Law School, where she earned a Juris Doctor degree. After practicing law, she pivoted during the pandemic to follow a longtime desire to teach. She is presently an Adjunct Faculty member at her alma mater, Vanderbilt University, where she teaches in the Human and Organizational Development department. The running through line of her varied career and life is a steadfast love for people and storytelling. Find her on Instagram @scperot . Dear Nina episodes and social clips are made using Descript . LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#133 - Talking to Friends About Your Sex Life: with Dr. Arielle Buch-Frohlich 26:29

23 days ago26:29

26:29

Talking to Friends About Sex at Any Age It's not uncommon to discuss our sex lives with friends during the adolescent and college years. But as we age, it becomes less comfortable. Trust and privacy (of our partner) can be significant barriers to discussing intimate details as well as a fear that friends will judge our issues, desires, and choices. Dr. Arielle Buch-Frohlich , a clinical psychologist specializing in sex and couples therapy, joins me to remind listeners how discussing sex with friends at any age can have major benefits. Perhaps our sex lives, as we get older, would stay better, healthier, more robust, or we'd have better feelings about it, if we were talking about it with our friends. Dr. Arielle feels that normalizing conversations about sex, despite significant taboos around this topic, can lead to healthier relationships since human sexuality evolves over time, just like we do. She says that single and married friends can share experiences, but it requires mutual trust. We discuss how romance/fantasy novels and certain shows and movies can facilitate conversations about sex and other ideas for broaching the topic with friends. Meet Dr. Arielle Buch-Frohlich Dr. Arielle Buch-Frohlich is a clinical psychologist licensed in Ontario and Quebec. She completed a doctorate in Clinical Psychology (Psy.D) from the Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM) and received clinical training from the Sex and Couple Therapy Service at the Allen Memorial Institute. Dr. Arielle specializes in sex and relationships, to help individuals and couples thrive. Additionally, Dr. Arielle seeks to help young couples thrive through the transition to parenthood, with expertise in fertility, perinatal and postpartum mental health. For more information, please email dr.arielle.therapy@gmail.com or book a free 15 minute consult online at drarielletherapy.com . LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Dear Nina episodes and social clips are made using Descript . Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#132 - The Power of the 4 Types of Connection: with Dr. Adam Dorsay 33:28

29 days ago33:28

33:28

While friendship is an essential type of connection at every age and the one area of personal growth I discuss most often on Dear Nina , today’s guest, psychologist Dr. Adam Dorsay , expands the conversation to the four types of connections we need to lead fulfilling lives. Those four areas are: connection to ourselves, to others, to the world, and to something greater. Dr. Adam, author of Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love , shares the FEED model for enhancing connection. We also talk about the consequences of disconnection, the nuances of loneliness and solitude, strategies for revitalizing old friendships, the role of activities in making new friends, and the impact of fear of rejection on social interactions. Super Psyched has been endorsed by Lori Gottlieb, Daniel H. Pink, Mel Robbins, Guy Kawasaki, A.J. Jacobs , and many others. And Dr. Adam and I got along so well on this episode that we also recorded an episode about adult friendships on his podcast! ( Ep #247 of SuperPsyched , “A Conversation With Nina Badzin” ) MEET DR. ADAM DORSAY: Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley where he serves high-achieving adults (including professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and professional athletes). Adam is the host of SuperPsyched, an award-winning podcast, and the author of Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love . Beyond his private practice, Adam is a resiliency expert who co-created an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees for several years. He now serves as the resiliency consultant to DigitalOcean and has frequent requests from the media for interviews. He has provided keynotes and trainings to multiple corporations and organizations, including Microsoft, Linkedin, and the California Psychological Association. He is happily married, the father of young boys, and he has a hypoallergenic 33-pound Australian Labradoodle therapy dog named Raffi, who lives at his home and works at his office. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#131 - Monthly Friendship Challenge: Start a Ritual or Tradition with Friends, with Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter 34:26

5 weeks ago34:26

34:26

It's time for the next Dear Nina Friendship Monthly Challenge! The January challenge was to see a friend in person, which meant reaching out to make a plan. The February challenge is to start a ritual/tradition with friends to strengthen new relationships or maintain existing ones. For accountability, report back in the Dear Nina Facebook Group , on Substack , or via email when you've made the plan. It's okay if the plan doesn't happen in February. Just get the planning going! To quote (myself!) from January, "In a healthy, robust, social life, or at least a deeply fulfilling one where you feel like you can be yourself, there's less keeping score, less keeping track, less waiting for invitations, and less moralizing about who should have included you. You dear listener are in charge. You will do the including." And that statement is completely applicable to the February challenge as well. I hear from people who feel they need to start over with friendships or that they've never had good friends. So when you hear something like "start a ritual," you might be thinking, "But Nina, I don't have any close friends." And that's the point. These rituals and traditions can become the foundation of close friendships. In my interview with Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter , co-authors of STAY GOLDEN, GIRLS , you will hear examples of traditions between longtime friends, newer friends, and I share some of my own traditions with people who are now longtime friends, but who weren't when we started certain annual plans. The power in rituals and traditions are not even about the activity itself in many cases. It's about the anticipation and organization! Of course there are tricky elements of planning these traditions, too. How many people should you include? That's a big one, and there are others. We discuss them all in the episode! Links mentioned: All the 2025 Monthly Challenges newsletter posts "How to Make Plans with Friends" Episode #56 with Kat Vellos: Managing Group Texts Meet "The Rachels" Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter are here to help give inspiration to all of us. They’ve been friends since they were 18 years old though, and they are both accomplished and interesting women on their own, but together they co-wrote Stay Golden, Girls , a gift book about the importance of women’s friendships. Rachel Steinman is a writer, teacher, and mental health educator. She hosts the Dear Family, Podcast with inspirational guests who have overcome mental health obstacles to thrive. She received her Masters in Education and teaching credentials from UCLA, has taught every elementary school grade, and has been a school librarian. She is a lead presenter for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), going into middle and high schools to educate students, parents, and staff about warning signs while offering resources and hope. Rachel Winter is a writer, director, and an Academy Award®-nominated producer for Dallas Buyers Club . Winter, along with LeBron James, produced James’ biopic, Shooting Stars , released on Peacock in June 2023. Available now from iHeart Radio, Winter produced and directed the audio drama Supreme: The Battle for Roe , and made her directorial debut with The Space Between , starring Kelsey Grammer, for which they both received awards from various Film Festivals. All social media and purchasing links for Stay Golden, Girls, can be found here . LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#130 - The Sober Curious Lifestyle and the Impact on Your Friendships: with Hallie Sawyer 28:28

6 weeks ago28:28

28:28

Do you know someone who has adopted a "sober curious" lifestyle? Perhaps it's a pivot you've been considering for yourself? The term is usually credited to Ruby Warrington, author of Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol . “Sober curious” means you're curious about how much you're drinking and how your health, relationships, and work and more might change without alcohol, even if you don't have an addiction. Today's guest, writer and podcaster, Hallie Sawyer, began a sober curious journey several years ago and is here to give Dear Nina listeners an honest account of how it began and why she has stayed completely committed to avoiding alcohol years later. Meet Hallie Sawyer: Hallie is a writer and host of the podcast, The AWEd Life , which is an acronym for Awake, Well, and Empowered. Living AWEd has been her life filter since challenging herself to give up alcohol for 90 days which is now her M.O. She’s a midlife mom with three adult children who recently became the owner of an empty nest and is ready to take on this next stage of life with gusto. She shares her writing weekly on Substack and you can find her on Instagram at @hallie_sawyer and @theawedlife . Links mentioned and other related episodes: Ruby Warrington's book, Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Deep Connection, and Limitless Presence Awaiting Us All On The Other Side of Alcohol Dear Nina episode #17 Friendship and Sobriety : Jen (Gilhoi) Veralle Hallie's friendship project ! I was a guest on Hallie's podcast, The AWEd Life , where we discussed the changing nature of friendship in midlife. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#129 - Do you know how your friends like to be comforted in hard times? 11:11

8 weeks ago11:11

11:11

It's the middle of January 2025. Right now you might have friends in Southern California who have evacuated from their homes. You might know someone whose house, entire neighborhood, community, and school are gone. And there's often a time in life when you know someone in a health, personal, or other kind of crisis, even if it's not a situation as drastic as this one where it's so many friends, acquaintances, and fellow citizens at once. It can be tempting to say nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing. It can be tempting to assume our friends like to be comforted exactly the way we like to be comforted. If I've learned anything from writing about friendship for 10 years, it's that we are all quite different so knowing what our friends need in hard times is something that develops in time along with the friendship. Difficult truth: You only learn what your friends want and need by showing up, even if you don't get it "right" at first. Here is a vetted list of organizations collecting funds to help everyone affected by the fires in Southern California. Links mentioned and other related episodes: #55. How to Support a Friend Facing an Ambiguous Loss: Emma Nadler #69. Don’t Be Afraid of Saying the Wrong Thing to Friends With a Chronic Illness : Jennifer Cramer-Miller #90. The Friends You Want Around During a Crisis : Kelly Lang #104. Being a Good Friend to Someone With Terminal Cancer : Jill Smokler #128: Your Friends Won’t Always Say the Right Thing When You’re Struggling, Forgive Them : Steve Phillips LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#128 - Your Friends Won't Always Say the Right Thing When You're Struggling, Forgive Them: with Steve Phillips 34:55

9 weeks ago34:55

34:55

You've had a tremendous loss in your personal life and your friends don't know what to say or do: Do you tell them what you need, or do you assume they should know? Here's the more important question---Do any of us know what to say and do in every situation? Probably not. And the truth is, not everybody wants the same thing when they're grieving or struggling. What worked for one friend might not work for another. What's helpful to you, might not work for your friend. This episode is a particularly special one because it came from an unexpected, beautiful letter from a listener--national bestselling author, Steve Phillips . Steve wrote to me expressing his gratitude for episodes that helped him reframe his thoughts on friendship after the devastating loss of his wife of 32 years, Susan Sandler, who died of brain cancer in December 2022 after living with the disease for six years. Steve wasn't pitching the show in that letter, but I asked him if he'd honor me by sharing his experiences with friendship. And he said yes! It was a really good conversation about various topics having to do with showing up, rebuilding your social life, making plans, "real friends" vs "deal friends" and more. Links Steve mentioned in the episode: Episode #50: "Overlooking Friends' Foibles" (with my mom!) Episode #86: "Every Friendship Begins With an Act of Bravery" Meet Steve Phillips Steve Phillips is a bestselling author, national political commentator and columnist with an extensive history at the forefront of the intersection of racial equity. He is a New York Times bestselling author , a columnist for The Guardian and The Nation , and an opinion contributor to The New York Times. He is also the host of “Democracy in Color with Steve Phillips,” a color-conscious podcast on politics. Together with his wife, the late Susan Sandler, Steve c0-founded the Sandler Phillips Center, which supports organizations and campaigns led by people of color, women, immigrants, and LGBTQIA plus people, and hosts the Fannie Lou Hamer Fellowships for courageous activists. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#127 - Monthly Friendship Challenge: See a Friend in Person This Month 10:52

10 weeks ago10:52

10:52

It's the monthly friendship challenge! And it doesn't matter which month you begin. Every social wellness challenge in 2025 WILL improve your friendships because it puts you in charge of your social life. The January 2025 challenge is to see a friend in person this month. Go for a walk, meet for a meal, see Wicked. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it gets you OFF the text thread and out of the social media "like" and "heart" habit as a replacement for true connection. We need to see our friends in person. Start the year off right with the best social wellness trick around--spend time with people you like. If you don't like your friends, I address briefly that in today's episode too. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: This is the 2025 daily notebook I bought. Episode #121: "Rules for Making Plans With Friends" Substack post: "This is How to Make Plans With Friends" Hallie's post: "A Like Does Not a Friendship Make" My instagram "Texting is Cool, BUT" post. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#126 - Is It Time For a Friendship Cleanse? (encore with Anna Goldfarb) 34:49

11 weeks ago34:49

34:49

Welcome to the top episode on Dear Nina in 2024—the 14-day friendship cleanse, brainchild Anna Goldfarb whose book, Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections , is a must read for anyone looking to improve their friendships. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how you're treating your closest friends. (And that particular list shouldn't be too long.) By the end of this episode, you will have a healthier mindset for thinking through your friendships, and you'll know why I became friends with Anna after her visit to the podcast almost two years ago when we talked about lopsided friendships . Meet Anna Goldfarb: Anna Goldfarb is the Philadelphia-based journalist and author of Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections . Her work has appeared in The Atlantic , TIME , Vice , The Cut , Vox , The Washington Post , and The New York Times . Find Anna's newsletter on Substack , grab an excerpt from her book on her website , and follow Anna on Instagram. LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#125 - The 10% Rule in Friendship and The Negativity Bias with Ann Imig 35:31

12 weeks ago35:31

35:31

Why does the inner judge in our brains automatically default to negativity? We assume the worst and let our insecurities lead the way. How does this inner judge interfere with our friendships? And what can we do to create curiosity instead of negativity? Ann Imig , creator and author of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER , and life coach at Listen Life Coaching , is here with practical tools that will help keep the judge at bay. Ann encourages "curiosity, celebrating, and savoring" in our friendships, "showing up when you show up," and utilizing the words and mindset of "tell me more." We also discussed the role Ann (indirectly) played in my decision to start writing about friendship in 2014! Meet Ann Imig: Ann is an award-winning founder and speaker with numerous national media and stage appearances. As a certified coach at Listen Life Coaching she guides young adults (and their parents) to crush their goals, fuel their joy, and boost their confidence in a bright future. In 2010 she created the storytelling series and book titled LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER. Almost 15 years later, LTYM continues Giving Motherhood A Microphone on stages across North America (70 cities and counting). Ann's motherhood story stars 2 sons, ages 17 & 20 with her husband Ben. Ann works a lot with concepts from positiveintelligence.com . Special offer for Fans of Dear Nina: Experience the life-changing experience of coaching with Ann for free (no strings attached!). Dear Nina listeners receive a full 50-min discovery session rather than the typical half-hour consult. ListenLifeCoaching.com LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

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#124 - Friends who criticize you; Friends who ignore the group chat then change the plans; Feeling excluded when friends hit it off 17:25

13 weeks ago17:25

17:25

I love answering listeners' anonymous friendship dilemmas. It's a letter spotlight episode with three short anonymous letters from listeners with various friendship issues. I did my best to give practical, helpful advice. The subjects are: A listener whose friend makes little digs at her friend whenever they shop together. A listener whose friend always chimes in late to the plan-making in the group text thread then wants to make changes. A listener who wants to introduce her friends to each other, but is worried about getting excluded eventually. The full text of the letters can be found here on my site . (dearninafriendship.com episode 124) Links mentioned in the episode: Episode #121: "Rules for Making Plans With Your Friends" Newsletter with a bit more about making plans Ask an anonymous question LET'S CONNECT ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP: My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads , Bluesky JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

1
#123 - Male-Female Friendships & Liking Your Friends' Social Media Posts with Aaron Karo and Matt Ritter 29:39

14 weeks ago29:39

29:39

I'm thrilled to welcome friendship experts and comedians Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo of Man of the Year podcast ! In honor of these male "chief friendship officers," (their term, which I love!) I'm finally tackling the often-requested topic of platonic relationships. Matt is married and Karo is single so that provided a slightly different point of view, which was helpful. We also discussed how often you "should be" liking your friends' social media posts, a topic younger people on TikTok yell at me about sometimes. I think it's a terrible way to measure a friendship and occasionally get on TikTok to say so, but many out there think it's an important behavior to note. Matt and Karo ended up agreeing with me for the most part, but they were easier on those with that opinion than I was. These are completely unrelated friendship topics, but I didn't want to squander my time with this hilarious and insightful duo. We fit in a few other friendship dilemmas, too, like viewing your friends in the most favorable light, remembering your friends aren't mind readers, when hobbies with friends take too much time from your spouse, and more. More about Matt and Aaron: As seen in the New York Times, on NPR, and the TODAY Show, Man of the Year will help you make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. Each November Matt and Aaron award a gigantic Man of the Year trophy to one of their childhood friends – a tradition that has kept their crew going strong since the '80s. But the country is currently facing a friendship recession – 15% of men report having zero close friends – and they’re on a mission to change that with tips, hacks, and decades of hilarious stories. Find Man of the Year on Instagram , YouTube , and TikTok . Links mentioned in the episode: "Where Have All My Guy Friends Gone?" Sarah Wheeler in The Cut The TikTok post where people yell at me for saying NOT to drop your friends who don't actively like your social media posts. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more A guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

1
#122 - Grieving the End of a Friendship (encore with Diamonde Williamson) 26:10

15 weeks ago26:10

26:10

Friendship breakups are an ageless, universal issue. In my 10 years of writing about friendship and receiving many anonymous letters, I've seen that it makes little difference in the grief process if there was a direct conversation with the friend, a fade out, or an abrupt ghosting. No matter the circumstances, we must take time to heal when a friend is no longer in our lives. Today's episode is a revisit of my conversation with Diamonde Williamson, who found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others face their feelings of grief, loss, rejection, and loneliness. Learn more about Diamonde's documentary, Best Friends Not Forever . And you must see her visual art on Instagram at @therealdiamonde . Links mentioned in the episode: The episode with one of my best friends about the years we stopped being friends and how we reconnected: "Reconnecting with an ex-friend." Recent anonymous question in my newsletter, "The Friends Who Rejected Us: Thank you" Meet Diamonde Williamson Diamonde Williamson is the Founder and CEO of Third and Wonder Production House, the go-to media and production company for Black women and Black culture, specializing in branded, documentary, and unscripted formats. She’s created hundreds of videos for notable clientele like: The Oprah Winfrey Network, Google, Warner Bros., Essence, and more. Learn more about her original documentary, Best Friends Not Forever , and her highly praised podcast Meet Me in the Deep . Her continued goal is to build community and produce entertaining, empowering and relatable art for Black women. You can also find Diamonde on Instagram @therealdiamonde. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more A guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok , Twitter , Youtube , Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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