210. Shame and the Impact on Relationships with Karen C. L. Anderson

Dating After Divorce

Shame is a painful emotional experience that can stem from childhood experiences and societal conditioning, especially for women.
In this episode, I had Karen C. L. Anderson on for her second guest appearance on the podcast. We talked about her new book, You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame about generational trauma and shame between mothers and daughters from a personal perspective.
Key Takeaways:

- Recognizing shame involves paying attention to underlying thoughts and beliefs, like "I'm bad" or "I'm unworthy." Drilling down to the core beliefs helps address shame.

- Healing from shame involves developing self-compassion, recognizing triggers, and cultivating moments of joy. Connecting to one's inner child can help treat oneself with kindness.

- Shame is passed down intergenerationally but can be "unlearned" through awareness, understanding one's experiences, and self-care over time with tools like coaching

Featured on the Show:
Karen is a master-certified life coach and author of several books including You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame.
Karen works mostly with adult daughters who want to take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers...AND has a special place in her practice for mothers who want to do the brave work of unshaming so they can repair the relationship they have with their adult daughters.
Website/Podcast: www.kclanderson.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KCLAnderson/
Listen to Karen's 1st appearance on the Dating After Divorce Podcast: Dating and Healing Childhood Trauma

Bab

1. Exploring Shame and Healing After Divorce (00:00:02)

2. Understanding and Overcoming Shame (00:08:50)

3. Surface Thoughts and Shame in Dating (00:17:05)

4. Exploring Shame and Finding Joy (00:22:13)

5. The Impact of Shame-Based Messaging (00:33:41)