Ask a Sub is an advice podcast for the kink-curious to take themselves from dreaming to doing. Our host Lina Dune is bringing wellness kink to the masses, and equipping every would-be kinkster with the tools to become their own BDSM BFF.
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Bad in Bed: The Queer Sex Podcast is a sex-positive podcast hosted by sex educators and journalists Bobby Box (he/him) and Gabrielle Kassel (she/her). Every week, the two tackle a topic near and dear to their hearts and loins, sharing their (s)experiences and chatting with industry experts. From sex toys, strap-on sex, and fisting, to sexual identity, painful sex, and loose genitals, Bad in Bed is the (queer) sex ed you never had, but always wanted and deserved!
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94. Feral Raccoon Hour with the AAS Moderators
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Come one, come all, to the wholesome dumpster we raccoons cluster in also known as the Ask A Sub discord community. The community is a benefit of patreon and the reason it’s so many people’s favorite place on the internet is the absolutely top tier moderation and vibes-curation brought to you by our mod team. Hear the voices of the people behind th…
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A caller wants to know how to use their kinky toolkit to address a recently resurfaced memory of past trauma, and Lina gets into how kink, while not a panacea, can be supportive as we transform triggers into memories. Send in your q’s at memo.fm/askasub To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patre…
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92. The Spiky Wartenberg Wheel Of Emotions
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C'mon guys, a tale as old as time. We’ve all been there - your Dom is seeing other subs, and your jealousy and the Social Media Demon have twisted the situation to be unbearable. How can we break jealousy down into more manageable components, and negotiate whether we want to deal in the first place? Lina shares from her own experience and has some …
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91. Getting Left Hanging (Not In The Fun Way)
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A sub calls in wondering what to do when you’ve been in multiple relationships where the kink slowly vanishes over time. Are you going crazy?? No, this is a disappointingly common thing, and Lina’s going to help you spin an annoying part of dating into a helpful learning experience. Send in your questions for the pod at memo.fm/askasub. To support …
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90. Switch for Switch Poly Parenting with Evolving Love Project
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You guys — we did it — we trapped a true switch for switch poly couple with our big butterfly net and dove deep into their deeply respectful and inspiring relationship. Join us for a convo with charismatic Aussies Abbey and Liam for a tour through their individual love lives, and the love they have for fostering connections in their broader ENM com…
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89. Sub On The Street: Folsom Street Fair
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Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn more about it here. Registration ends 9/27 at 11:59pm pacific. Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com, Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The Satanic Temple and everyone who spoke to me at Folsom last year! Get my ful…
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We’ve all been there — an on again, off again dynamic that keeps us trapped in a cycle where we feel that person is the one who can unlock the sex life we really want, if only they’d switch back to “on again.” In this episode we talk about the paradox of longing and how to get yourself licking new coffee cups before you know it. Get your spot in th…
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87. Rebuilding Your Dynamic After De-escalation
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More and more D/s couples are having to put their dynamics on pause lately, and we want to give you the tools to find your way back to each other. This week, Lina’s talking about the integral role of play in building trust and putting your whole (figurative) p*ssy into your vulnerability. ***Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn…
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86. Fewer Bisexual Fucks to Give
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We talk a lot on this podcast about feeling “queer enough,” and a straight passing queer couple wonders how to feel more at home in queer spaces. Lina affirms that they’re allowed to be there, and anyone whose opinion is worth considering is probably just thinking they’re hot. Fewer queer cops, more queer fucking!!! To support the pod and join our …
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85. Safety is Hardcore with Tina Horn
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Writer, educatrix, and all around kink community badass Tina Horn joined us to talk all about hardcore kinks and fetishes and how we sort kinks into this category. Her new book Why Are People Into That?! is out now wherever books are sold. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Submit questions fo…
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84. Divine Masculine & Feminine Energies are Sus
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GENDER!! Ever hear of it?! Lina’s popping off on the presidential election, right-wing weird shit, and the subtle leak of conspirituality-adjacent terms like ‘divine masculine & feminine’ into sex education spaces. She also goes into why her submission doesn’t feel feminine, but an intense space to reckon with the masculine. Controversial? Probably…
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In a transmission from God’s hot car, Lina discusses the relationship between kink and chronic pain, and advises a Spoonie who’s playing with a doctor to enjoy the free medical care without shame. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack …
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We all know about Fake Doms, people on dating apps who co-opt the language of BDSM to push a misogynistic agenda, but what about when the messaging of manipulation is more subtle, and even uses sex positive language to confuse subs? Enter: Fake Dom 2.0. In this episode, Lina shares signs you may be dealing with a Fake Dom 2.0, vetting questions to …
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Why are subs and kinky people so prone to tripping out on what the future could be? Well, as the saying goes, subs plan and Doms laugh at our anticipatory anxiety. Lina also discusses how marriage and society are a weird mindf*%k combo to navigate (and not always in the nice way), and how we all need more space to increase our capacity for change a…
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Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria! When can a sub be a Dom? A caller wants to know when their Dommy tendencies qualify them to start switchin’, and how their neurodivergent brain can deal with the ambiguity. Answer? BDSM loves getting all up in your cracks to make you stretch all the parts of yourself. Just don't forget the lube. The lu…
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79. Making it Weird While Keeping it Secure with Casey Tanner aka @queersextherapy
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In this preview of Deep Dive, Lina chats with Casey Tanner, @queersextherapy, about their new book Feel It All. Topics covered include defining secure sexuality and the origins of insecure sexuality (aka why are we so messed up about sex?!). In the full Deep Dive, available to paid members, hear them discuss how to support queer people in straight …
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What happens when you’re criss crossing all your red string a la Charlie Day while researching D/s to broaden the scope of your dynamic, but your Dom just won’t click the links you send? Lina talks the three-legged race of a longterm relationship, how the patriarchy doesn’t support men in self improvement, and what to do when you suspect you’re a k…
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This month for pride, join your very own fave bisexual goblin for a wide ranging AMA! That’s right, I answered your q’s in real time just like the old days. Get info about Ask A Sub Office Hours on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe …
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This week, a married couple struggles with the ways D/s sometimes outwardly looks like the oppressive gender roles they were raised with, and have been fighting their whole relationship. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See …
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75. Your Brain Is A Soft-Boiled Egg
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Lina gives some tender yet protective advice to a 20-year-old sub looking to start their kink journey. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podc…
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74. Eating Olives Off the Floor with Novelist R.O. Kwon
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R.O. Kwon stopped by the pod this week to talk about her new book Exhibit, a tale about kink, queerness, and what happens when people pursue that which they truly desire. Catch R.O.’s Thirst Inventory here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby…
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73. Zero Sum Cats with Dollie the Discord Mod
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Our Deep Dive guest this month is many things — a kink/rope organizer, an amazing friend, a top-tier emoji-reactor, and a Ask A Sub discord moderator that has been with us since the beginning of the server. Dollie and Lina talk community building and maintenance, and how they curate the best (dare we say??) kink space on the internet. Listen on Pat…
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72. The Subby Art of Letting Go
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A sub calls in wondering how to “do” submission right, and Lina shares some wisdom about how to avoid submissive doing and embrace submissive being. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit que…
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Age Play is considered by some to be one of the most taboo kinks out there, but what if it was just cute inner child work? Age play creator Baby Linh joins me to unpack misconceptions about the kink and offer solace to those who feel called toward it. Get the full interview on Patreon for $11/month. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a su…
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70. Spit It Out with Alison Stevenson
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Today’s episode is brought to you by our friends at Feeld, the dating app for the curious! The theme of the day is spitting it out - from feelings to actual fluids, comedian Alison Stevenson and Lina have you completely covered. With information. Just information and humor. Unless…? Follow Feeld on Instagram here, or download it using this link. To…
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That’s me in the corner… that’s me in the… somewhat challenging aftercare predicament? A listener calls in about how to engineer proper aftercare in a cucking scene, and Lina reassures them that sometimes it’s ok to experiment with big feelings and occasionally get it wrong. Substack: What We Talk About When We Talk About Cucking To support the pod…
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68. Everybody Needs To Chill with Bae Leche
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Bae Leche dropped by the pod to talk about being a non-monogamous mom, dating while pregnant, and new corners of her sexuality she’s discovering in the midst of parenting. Come for the fire pregnancy nudes, stay for the warm-hearted acceptance for wherever you are in your journey. Get the full interview on Patreon for $11/month. To sign up to be no…
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Kink arrives in your life looking like a problem, but it’s really a solution. In this episode, Lina leads a listener through the daunting moment of taking stock of your submissive fantasies with the empathy of somebody a little further down the road. Get your Sub Survival Guide for 20% off at http://www.askasub.com/courses with code AWAKENING To su…
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66. Public Humiliation - Where’s The Line?
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A listener asks the age-old question of where the line is with public humiliation kinks and involving bystanders, and Lina dives in with things to consider before you go to the grocery store with the f-word written across your forehead. Listen to Lina address the Erewhon incident on Dan Savage’s podcast here. To support the pod and join our thrivin…
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How can you date again after a D/s relationship turns abusive? You start by dating your intuition. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@…
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A listener calls in after someone told them saying they are kinky means they are probably not looking for anything serious. Obviously this is not true, but Lina also had some thoughts on the relationship escalator, community care, and how to see people as individuals in a sex positive context. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub comm…
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I’ve been through some shit lately and wanted to share the ways people have supported me so you can support those in your life who are also going through shit. We will be back to our regular format next week. Love you all. Get my essay about the miscarriage on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kink…
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62. Accessible Glory Holes with Andrew Gurza
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Disability advocate, sex toy creator, and host of Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza joins us to talk all about non-binary identity, dating while disabled, and how we can improve accessibility in kinky and queer spaces. To get this full episode, go to Patreon or Substack. For that piece of writing I was talking about get it on Patreon or Substack. …
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A sub is concerned that her Dom’s wife is going to veto their dynamic and wonders how she can modify her behavior to make the wife more comfortable. Lina talks about which feelings we have control over (only our own) and how to give yourself grace during liminal times. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket fri…
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So you've got somebody to do 24/7 with - great! Now how the hell do you narrow down all the options and create a bespoke practice just for you? Lina walks a listener through the buffet of options, and helps guide the process of assembling a satisfying D/s plate covered in consent gravy. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community o…
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59. Neurospicy & Ready To Party
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This week a caller on the autism spectrum and his partner with ADD wonder if there is a link between kink and neurodivergence. Let's talk about it! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit ques…
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58. Kinky Divorced Moms Deserve A Win
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Due to unforeseen circumstances (we got COVID), in lieu of this week’s scheduled episode please enjoy this rerun of a season 2 favorite. Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at the end of her story. To support the pod and join our t…
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57. What Is Humiliation Anyway?
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First Lina delivers a hot take about how women who sleep with men can become marginalized within kink, then teases out the difference between humiliation and degradation kinks while making fun of dating app bing bongs (as usual). To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month!…
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56. Dovetailing Purity Culture Into Kink
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We’re back! And we’re kicking purity culture in the pants!! Get info about the Friday 1/26 Deep Dive here! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to …
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A sub calls in asking how to make amends for past mistakes. Spoiler alert: you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. Unless you're into that. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Get a year of Patreon for $50 (that's two…
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54. Bloodlust & SW Labor Rights with Empress Wu
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The words filth and perversion barely begin to scratch the surface of what's on offer in this interview with Empress Wu and her singular penchant for scenes that expand into systems that fuck gender, the body, notions of inside and outside, as well as existence itself. Here in the free preview, we discuss Wu’s journey into pro-Domme work as well as…
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53. What If I Don't Have Hard Limits?
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A sub is concerned about sending the wrong message when telling Doms she doesn't have hard limits. What to do? To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos…
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52. Hot Bisexual Takes with Gab Alexa
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Bisexual polyamorous writer Gab Alexa joins me to discuss bi-erasure, queer baiting, and her spicy time at the infamous swinger’s retreat Hedonism. Join Patreon at $11/month or Substack at $8/month to get the complete interview, as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find a sex positive therapist, to ho…
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Hey, it's your real life calling! The one where you're not sleeping on an air mattress in a musty basement bracing yourself to hear your Uncle Jim's conspiracy theories at the dinner table! You -- yes you! -- used to be kinky, and that kinkiness is a superpower! Get 25% off on both Ask A Sub courses with code BOUNDARIES25 at askasub.com/courses. Of…
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A listener wants to know the answer to a so-called googleable question - what the heck is a play party, exactly? Lina answers & gives tips on navigating these experiences once you find the right one. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Submit questions for this pod…
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49. Sub On The Street: Folsom 2023
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Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com, Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The Satanic Temple and everyone who spoke to me at Folsom! Get my full discussion with Alex Kacha on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket f…
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Are you or a loved one affected by Goodest Girl Syndrome, aka the desire to be the absolute best in comparison to all your partner’s other partners past, present & future? Tune in for solace, solidarity, and strategies to tend your tender heart. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon start…
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47. A Freak Behind The Lens: Photographer Alex Kacha
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This month’s Deep Dive was with boudoir photographer and all around artiste Alex Kacha. We discussed self care, the healing gaze of the camera, and of course the kinkiest shoots they’ve ever done! Deep Dive is a monthly series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the …
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46. Comparison Versus Compersion
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A sub loves the play parties she attends with her Dom, but is struggling with watching him play with his primary partner. Can this cozy polycule find a way forward that honors her boundaries? Alex Kacha Deep Dive Interview - Live Event on 10/24 at 5pm PT To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patr…
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45. Learning From Our Elders & The History of Bootblacking with KD Diamond
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Follow KD: Instagram | Website Follow Kink Out: Instagram | Website Get KD’s bootblacking starter kit recs here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! Subscribe to the subby substack here. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Go her…
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