Stepparents have needs too.
Manage episode 442304194 series 3592532
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Becoming a stepparent does not negate the needs and feelings we have as individuals. And yet, so many of our partners seem to think we shouldnât have those needs or feelings⊠or at least that we should be perfectly content putting ourselves and our relationship needs dead last, apparently forever.
This is not sustainable.
Relationships need time and attention, and so do we as individuals. Yes, the kids are important â but so are you, and so is your romantic relationship, and so is this future youâre trying to create together. You canât build a life (or a blended family) out of leftovers.
A partner who continues bending over backwards to make their kids and/or their ex happy while continually sliding you to the back burner is a partner whoâs making choices that are aligned with the former family rather than your new stepfamily.
Your relationship is the foundation of your blended family and canât be treated like an afterthought if itâs going to survive. Understanding this is so important I have an entire blog post on it: âĄïž WHY YOUR RELATIONSHIP (NOT THE KIDS) SHOULD COME FIRST IN A STEPFAMILY đ
You are your own person with needs outside of being a stepparent, and you are completely, totally, 100% allowed to express those needs. You also deserve to have those needs met. And being a stepparent does not change that.
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