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What Do You Want
Manage episode 408276617 series 3385247
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WHY DO MEN FIND IT HARD TO GO FOR WHAT THEY WANT?
- Over Calibration
They’ve gone for something in the past and it’s not paid off. Rather than facing that pain again. It’s “Easier”to create a narrative that they don’t want it.
Not going for things is a defence mechanism.
- Body:
- Relationship:
- Business:
2. They play to win, then at some point they play not to lose.
An example of this is in the beginning of their business they take shots, they will go for it as they have ‘nothing to lose’. But as we accumulate ‘perceived’ reputation we start holding back.
- We don’t take the same risks
- We get comfortable and see change as effort.
- We don’t want to lose as we see losing as bad. (The pain of defeat bears high value)
3. They have been sold an idea of success by unsuccessful people, and they’ve bought into it.
Their model for success is that in order for THEM to be successful it’s taking away from others. If they want more it means less for others.
In order for me to have MORE success in my career, it means being LESS of a Dad. Less time, less energy left over etc.
They have this archetype of a successful man being mean, arrogant, selfish, ambitious and it is what fucks them up because they are afraid of becoming that man.
4.They think it has to be justified
If you think about this, there will NEVER be a rational reason for wanting what you want (At least to another person)
It’s totally OK to want what you want.
Don’t get into rationalising it.
Its a complete sentence.
I WANT IT. It needs no because.
5. They’ve got out of the habit/ lost their orientation to what they want because they don’t have a goal.
They’ve totally lost orientation to the top of the mountain.
And thats when fear can set in.
They’ve also lost momentum, so they need start up energy AGAIN. (which is a tiring model for energy).
Compounding model vs Start stop.
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