Mom Rage, Guilt, and Balancing First Responder Family Life

Dear Chiefs Podcast

In this episode, Audra and Chelsi sit down with Rachael Choate, a mother and firefighter’s wife, to explore the often-overlooked topic of Mom Rage and its impact on first responder families. Rachael shares her personal journey from corporate leadership to motherhood, opening up about her struggles with postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger. She explains how life coaching helped her find healing and balance, and how she now uses her experiences to support other moms facing similar challenges.

Throughout this conversation, they dive into the complex feelings of guilt, resentment, and the pressures of being the default parent in a first responder household. Rachael offers practical insights on managing emotions, breaking the cycle of bottled up feelings, and how moms can create space for self-care even when their partners are away on long shifts.

Rachel Choate graduated with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology before entering the corporate world, where she traveled across the country, teaching leadership development skills and coaching leaders within her company.

After getting laid off in 2019, she decided to focus on starting a family with her firefighter husband of four years. Becoming a mom turned out to be way harder than she imagined, and she struggled with likely postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger.

Topics Covered:

• Understanding Mom Rage in first responder families

• Managing resentment and guilt when your spouse is away

• Coping as the default parent and avoiding burnout

• The importance of emotional expression and self-care

Books and Podcasts Mentioned

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Huberman Lab Podcast

Follow Rachael

https://www.instagram.com/rachaelchoate_/

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