Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 40 | National Coming Out Day Coming Out + Beyond

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Later-in-Lifers: Reframe the Guilt & Shame of Coming Out - Part 2! 39:47

7 days ago39:47

39:47

➡️Reframing Guilt & Shame Part 2: A New Perspective | Season 6 Episode 7 🌈 Welcome to another episode of "Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories"! Host Anne-Marie Zanzal and fellow later-in-lifer Barbara Rowlandson are back this week to talk about recognizing and reframing guilt and shame. Guilt and shame are two of the most common feelings that later-in-lifers struggle with. Anne-Marie and Barb keep the conversation going about these very challenging feelings in the context of coming out, deconstruct them, and offer new perspectives. ❓ What to Expect in This Episode: 🌧️ Values, where we learn them, and dealing with guilt and shame as our values change. ⚖️ Being fair to ourselves, allowing grace for life changes. 🧗‍♀️Cultivating psychological flexibility, strategies for addressing shame, temporary fixes and bargaining during the coming out process, and much more! Real Stories, Real Advice: Anne-Marie and Barbara talk about guilt and shame in the context of their own lives and experiences. ✨ Why This Matters: It's important to differentiate between feelings and identity. Reflection and perspective can help in understanding guilt and shame. Women are disproportionately impacted by societally driven guilt and shame based on gender role expectations. Self-compassion is a practice that can significantly reduce these difficult feelings. 📌🎙️About Barbara Rowlandson: With years of experience as a relationship coach, Barbara specializes in helping LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples create fulfilling and authentic relationships. Her compassionate approach empowers individuals to embrace their identity and build strong connections. 💬 Join the Conversation: What does dating readiness mean to you? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Let’s foster a supportive community where we can learn from each other. 🔗 Visit our website: Barbara Rowlandson’s : [ lavenderdating.com ] Anne-Marie's : [ annemariezanzal.com ] 🌟 Why Watch This Episode? If you're a later in lifer in what we call "The Messy Middle," you might be experiencing a great deal of guilt and shame over your sexual identity, wanting divorce, impacting your children, or going against your faith tradition. In this episode, you'll learn you aren't alone in those feelings, feel understood, and begin to learn ways to navigate the murky waters of guilt and shame. 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/…

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Later-in-Lifers: Reframe the Guilt & Shame of Coming Out! 36:32

14 days ago36:32

36:32

➡️ Reframing Guilt & Shame Associated with Coming Out Later in Life : Season 6 Episode 6 🌈 Welcome to another episode of "Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories"! Host Anne-Marie Zanzal invites fellow later-in-lifer Barbara Rowlandson back to the podcast to talk about everyone's favorite topic 🙄, guilt and shame! Guilt and shame are two of the most common feelings that later-in-lifers struggle with. Anne-Marie and Barb have a conversation about these very challenging feelings in the context of coming out, deconstruct them, and offer new perspectives. ❓ What to Expect in This Episode: 🌧️ Definitions guilt and shame and understanding the nuanced differences between them. ⚖️ Review justified vs. unjustified guilt and shame and how societal pressures contribute to unjustified guilt. 🧗‍♀️Recognizing how guilt and shame manifest in our bodies, separating our identity from our feelings and more! Real Stories, Real Advice: Anne-Marie and Barbara talk about guilt and shame in the context of their own lives and experiences. ✨ Why This Matters: It's important to differentiate between feelings and identity. Reflection and perspective can help in understanding guilt and shame. Women are disproportionately impacted by societally driven guilt and shame based on gender role expectations. Self-compassion is a practice that can significantly reduce these difficult feelings. 📌🎙️About Barbara Rowlandson: With years of experience as a relationship coach, Barbara specializes in helping LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples create fulfilling and authentic relationships. Her compassionate approach empowers individuals to embrace their identity and build strong connections. 💬 Join the Conversation: What does dating readiness mean to you? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Let’s foster a supportive community where we can learn from each other. 🔗 Visit our website: Anne-Marie's : [ www.annemariezanzal.com] Barbara Rowlandson’s : [ www.lavenderdating.com] 🌟 Why Watch This Episode? If you're a later in lifer in what we call "The Messy Middle," you might be experiencing a great deal of guilt and shame over your sexual identity, wanting divorce, impacting your children, or going against your faith tradition. In this episode, you'll learn you aren't alone in those feelings, feel understood, and begin to learn ways to navigate the murky waters of guilt and shame. 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/ 👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and advice on navigating life, love, and everything in between! #comingoutandbeyond #lgbtqiastories #guilt #shame #BarbaraRowlandson #AnneMarieZanzal #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #2slgbtqia #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtqplus #comingout #comingoutlaterinlife #lateinlifelesbian #latetolesbian #themessymiddle #divorce #podcast #love #separation #lgbtpodcast #lgbtrepresentation #lifetransitions…

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Coming Out & Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 6 Episode 5 | Finding Queer Community 35:21

21 days ago35:21

35:21

🌈 Welcome to another episode of "Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories"! In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and fellow coming-out coach, Barbara Rowlandson, talk about leaning into queer community during challenging times. Informed by their work with later-in-lifers, Anne-Marie and Barb discuss why this demographic of women needs community so much. ❓ What to Expect in This Episode: ✔️ Explanation of the recent changes to Facebook Community Standards that are harmful to the LGBTQIA+ community. ✔️Protecting your mental health during a period of uncertainty that comes with political and social change. ✔️ How, as a newly out person, you can find queer community in real life. ✔️Moving later-in-life lesbian Facebook communities to a safer space (Authentically Us on Mighty Networks). ✨ Why This Matters: Women who come out later in life often feel like outsiders in both the hetero and LGBTQIA+ worlds. It is common for later-in-lifers to feel alone, and in these uncertain times, many are scared. Now more than ever, later-in-life queer women need to lean into each other for support, camaraderie, joy, and to be seen. 📌🎙️ About Barbara Rowlandson With years of experience as a relationship coach, Barbara specializes in helping LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples create fulfilling and authentic relationships. Her compassionate approach empowers individuals to embrace their identity and build strong connections. Barbara's work is centered on values identification, examining and reevaluating core beliefs, overcoming limiting beliefs, fostering self-worth, and cultivating psychological flexibility. 💬 Join the Conversation: What does community mean to you? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Let’s foster a supportive community where we can learn from each other. 🔗 Visit our website: Anne-Marie's : [ annemariezanzal.com ] 🌟 Why Listen to This Episode? If you're a queer person who needs to feel connected to others in your community, this episode holds many fantastic suggestions for finding like-minded individuals who will respect your identity. 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 6 Episode 4 | Greg Bullard 57:15

28 days ago57:15

57:15

🌈 Welcome to another episode of "Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories"! In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal interviews Pastor Greg Bullard, the longest-serving affirming pastor in Tennessee. They discuss Greg's coming out journey, the importance of community in faith, and the role of acceptance within the church. Greg shares his experiences growing up in a strict religious environment and how he found his place in the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). the conversation delves into the challenges of language in faith, the duality of love, and the need for community support. Greg emphasizes the importance of transforming hate into love and creating a beautiful world through action and connection. ❓ What to Expect in This Episode: ✔️ Emphasis on the importance of community to faith and salvation. ✔️ The importance of language in faith matters and how it can be a barrier or a bridge. ✔️The power of transforming hate into love and more! ✨ Why This Matters: Many within the LGBTQIA+ community experience rejection from their faith communities and suffer religious trauma. Pastor Greg Bullard offers a perspective that makes space for queer individuals and emphasizes that church trauma stems from individuals, not God. Finding friendship and support within a faith community can be deeply meaningful and healing for those who have suffered religious trauma. 📌🎙️About Pastor Greg Bullard: Pastor Greg Bullard started his ministry in northern Alabama when he first felt the call at his home church. His pastor, then, said, “Greg, I’m sorry you’ll never be able to be in ministry because of who you are, and that’s not fair.” Over three decades later, Pastor Greg has built one of the most long-standing affirming ministries in the Southeast. A graduate of The University of Alabama in Huntsville, he made Nashville his permanent home in the late 1990s. With an accounting and business systems background, he marries his analytical side with his humor and storytelling each week as he ministers in the community and his home church. Greg has been recognized by the Human Rights Campaign, Tennessee Equality Project, Middle Tennessee State University, and Hands On Nashville for his work in LGBTQ+ ministry and food security. He and his husband, Brian, live with their son, Micah, born in 2011 and daughter, Esther, born in 2014. You’ll find his other son, Zach, on the piano bench every Sunday, sharing the ministry. Learn more about Greg here: https://www.covenantofthecross.com/staff-nav 💬 Join the Conversation: What does faith mean to you? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Let’s foster a supportive community where we can learn from each other. 🔗 Visit our website: Anne-Marie's : [ www.annemariezanzal.com] 🌟 Why Watch This Episode? If you're a queer person who has been impacted by a conservative faith tradition and feeling the loss of acceptance by your faith community, let this episode inspire you and help you to know that you are inherently lovable and that there is space for you in an affirming church. 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/ You can also tune into this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-out-beyond-lgbtqia-stories/id1569859569) Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/27kocr4llm6syHKaeX1x9e) 👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and advice on navigating life, love, and everything in between!…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 6 Episode 3 | Part 2 of Dating Readiness 36:18

5 weeks ago36:18

36:18

Buckle up, daters! In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond, we’re diving even deeper into the complexities of dating in the LGBTQIA+ community with Barbara Rowlandson, a seasoned relationship coach and LGBTQIA+ advocate. 🌈❤️ Dating can be both exciting and daunting, especially when you’re navigating life after coming out or rediscovering your authentic self. In this candid conversation, Barbara offers insights, tools, and strategies to help you assess your dating readiness and build meaningful connections that honor your true self. 💡 Topics Covered: ☑️ What you need to consider before starting to date ☑️ The importance of self-acceptance to the dating experience ☑️ Ridding yourself of limiting thoughts about yourself and dating ☑️ Why vulnerability is essential for connection ☑️ Preparing for rejection – an inevitability in dating 🎙️About Barbara Rowlandson: With years of experience as a relationship coach, Barbara specializes in helping LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples create fulfilling and authentic relationships. Her compassionate approach empowers individuals to embrace their identity and build strong connections. 💬 Join the Conversation: What does dating readiness mean to you? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Let’s foster a supportive community where we can learn from each other. 🔗 Visit our website: Barbara Rowlandson’s : [ lavenderdating.com ] Anne-Marie's : [ annemariezanzal.com ] 🌟 Why Watch This Episode? Whether you’re new to the dating scene or seeking to improve your approach, this episode provides valuable insights to help you date with confidence, authenticity, and purpose. 🔗 Follow us on social media: 💠 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amzanzal 💠 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annemariezanzalcoaching/ 💠 Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal 💠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment/ 👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and advice on navigating life, love, and everything in between!…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 6 Episode 2 | Dating Readiness with Barbara Rowlandson 32:38

6 weeks ago32:38

32:38

Please download, like & subscribe! You can also tune into this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Dating later in life can feel like tricky business! That's why we've asked our in-house dating expert, Barbara Rowlandson, to chat about best practices when stepping out into the dating world after a long hiatus. This episode covers dating while you're still in your heteronormative marriage, assessing your dating readiness, priorities in dating, and much more! Interested in taking part in Lavender Dating's 2-part dating workshop, Jan 25th & Feb 1st? Visit www.lavenderdating.com or www.annemariezanzal.com for more information and to register.…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 6 Episode 1 | 2024 - The Year in Review! 41:35

7 weeks ago41:35

41:35

Another year of podcasts is in the history books! In this first episode of Season 6, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach/producer Barbara Rowlandson review some of their favorite episodes of 2024, and give us a peek into topics that will be covered in 2025. Happy New Year, everyone!

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 51 | Wendy Cole 1:04:09

8 weeks ago1:04:09

1:04:09

80% of gender is between your ears (not your legs) says, transition coach Wendy Cole. Wendy's remarkable story begins in the 1950s, when as a very young child she knew she was a girl. In her conversation with host Anne-Marie Zanzal, Wendy shares her struggles in early childhood with her parents and psychiatric professionals who gave her harmful labels, how she coped in a heteronormative world, her eventual breaking point when she finally stepped into her identity as a woman, her friendship with her ex-wife, figuring out her sexuality post-transition, and much more.…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 50 | Coping During the Holidays 53:27

9 weeks ago53:27

53:27

Oh yes! Oh no! It's the holiday season once again! Individuals in the LGBTQIA+ community experience unique stressors during the holiday season. Queer/coming out coaches Anne-Marie Zanzal and Barbara Rowlandson have a lively discussion about strategies for coping with family, friends, and life changes during the holiday season. This is an especially good episode for anyone who is coming out or newly out!…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 49 | Karen Solt 49:47

10 weeks ago49:47

49:47

What does it mean to hide? How does hiding effect us and the people around us? This week's podcast could be considered an expert on hiding. Author Karen Solt, a lesbian, made her career in the United States navy which spanned over the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" years (1993-2011). A middle child with alcoholic parents, Karen's youth was a wild one, where she hid, started drinking at age 9-10, and generally underachieved to stay below the radar. After high school, Karen was tricked into joining the navy by an unscrupulous recruitment officer. Karen found structure in the navy, became sober, made chief after 11 years, and spent the entirety of her career hiding her sexuality. When she retired, Karen found that she couldn't hide behind the uniform any longer, and thus began her journey of learning, healing, and being seen.…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 48 | Duane Scott Cerny 53:44

11 weeks ago53:44

53:44

Poet, lyricist, celebrated vintage/antiques seller, and author of "Selling Dead People's Things" Duane Scott Cerny has led a varied and fascinating life. In this episode, Duane shares his remarkable life story with host Anne-Marie Zanzal, covering his sister's miraculous recovery from an grievous illness that caused his parents to convert to Catholicism, growing up gay in the Chicago suburbs, using his charm to diffuse school bullies and developing entrepreneurial skills in high school as self-protection, losing a partner and friends during the AIDS crisis, his early work launching his own record label, founding Chicago's popular Broadway Antique Market, and much, much more. Tune in to hear all of the colorful details of Duane's incredible life story! Learn more about Duane at https://sellingdeadpeoplesthings.com/meet-the-author/ Discover more about the Broadway Antique Market at https://bamchicago.com/ Duane's favorite musical is 'Sunset Boulevard.' You can catch a compelling performance by Glenn Close in the lead role here: https://youtu.be/i8Xz1aHPhE4?si=r8LtdVWGT2ISMRNB…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 47 | Phillip Headrick 51:16

12 weeks ago51:16

51:16

This week, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with the very wise and funny Phillip Headrick. Phillip, is the host of the recently retired "Two Bottles Deep" podcast, a physical therapist, and Nashville-based comedian. Before he was the charming and confident person he is today, Phillip was a boy raised on a farm in rural Tennessee who was raised in a Christian cult known as "The Truth." As a young man in college, Phillip's realization that he was gay sparked an existential crisis that will have a familiar ring to anyone who has grown up in a conservative faith community. Tune in to hear Phillip's coming out story, the unlikely response from his parents when he came out, and Phillip's messages of grace and tolerance. You can tune in to previous episodes of the "Two Bottles Deep" podcast here: https://twobottlesdeep.libsyn.com/ When in Nashville, you can catch Phillip's standup comedy at The Third Coast Comedy Club https://www.thirdcoastcomedy.club/ or Zanies Nashville https://nashville.zanies.com/# Phillip's coming out song is Believe by Cher: https://youtu.be/nZXRV4MezEw?si=7DmK3t9-ph5YCvuM A book that has had a profound impact on Phillip's life is Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43848929-talking-to-strangers…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 46 | The Power of Queer Resilience 58:07

13 weeks ago58:07

58:07

NSFW: This episode contains strong language that may be offensive to some. The current political climate is undoubtedly tough for the LGBTQIA+ community. How do we persevere in a society where so many would like to see queer people go back in the closet? This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal taps into the wisdom of individuals who have been out for several decades, discussing how to push through adversity and thrive. Anne-Marie is joined by her wife, Tonda McKay, who came out in the early '80s, Pam Nuchols, LCSW and therapist, and Robert McNamara, retired GM and founder of Franklin TN Pride. You'll here the group talk about their coming out stories, loss in the time of the AIDS crisis, emerging from conservative faith traditions, and how they've come through times that are even tougher than what we face in the present day. Robert's coming out song is Don't You Want Me by The Human League: https://youtu.be/uPudE8nDog0?si=uC0pHYXId_qrFsm0 Pam's coming out song is Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon: https://youtu.be/zpOULjyy-n8?si=Mx9nk8yCXF8cwk9s and Pam also recommends reading Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/165395.Rubyfruit_Jungle Anne-Marie and Tonda mentioned a song by Chappell Roan, "Good Luck, Babe": https://youtu.be/6ENzV125lWc?si=admdyeKj1VdmNsZy Tonda recommends reading "Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay worlds" by Judy Grahn: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64767.Another_Mother_Tongue…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 45 | JJ King 48:29

14 weeks ago48:29

48:29

Activist, scholar, mental health advocate, and The Trevor Project and WClub volunteer JJ King (they/them) is Anne-Marie's special guest on this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories. Anne-Marie and JJ met as JJ was beginning their coming out journey. Both were raised in conservative faith traditions that impacted their sense of self and autonomy. In this compelling conversation about women's power, Anne-Marie and JJ unpack the layered impacts of conservative faith, including homophobia, purity culture, and complementarianism. JJ shares their inspiring story of how they emerged from a family system and marriage where they were deeply oppressed to live their best life. Recorded just two days after the 2024 U.S. election, Anne-Marie and JJ also unpack why so many white American women voted against themselves.…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 44 | Charlie Sprinkman 44:26

15 weeks ago44:26

44:26

Charlie Sprinkman is a young person with a vision! After working in a job that required him to travel across 50+ states, Charlie recognized there was a lack of visibility to queer-owned businesses when he tried to find them in his travels and his searches came up empty. This is how Everywhere is Queer was born. Everywhere is Queer is a free app where people can list and search for queer-owned businesses. With an enormous amount of hard work and a boost from major media outlets, Everywhere is Queer's visibility has dramatically taken off, with thousands participating on the app worldwide. Tune in to hear host Anne-Marie Zanzal chat with Charlie about their journey, from their early days growing up in conservative Wisconsin, coming out, his fearless 'just do it' attitude, the country that surprised him the most, his business coaching service, and much more. You can learn more about the Everywhere is Queer app at https://www.everywhereisqueer.com/ A song that is meaningful to Charlie is 'Same Love' by Macklemore feat. Mary Lambert: https://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0?si=TOvY3aMo1wogizyj A television show that Charlie recommends is 'Pose': https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7562112/ Find out more about Everything is Queer, sign up for his newsletter, and find links to connect on Instagram and TikTok at www.everythingisqueer.com .…

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Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories | Season 5 Episode 40 | National Coming Out Day