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NorthPoint Counseling Perspective

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI

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Welcome to a NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, a podcast that addresses the intricate tapestry of individual, relational, marriage, parenting, problematic sexual behavior, partner betrayal trauma, and mental health issues.
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Honestly from HVCS

HVCS Prevention & Education

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A honest-talking, no barriers podcast for anyone that wants to know more about about sexual health, HIV/STD/Hepatitis C prevention, PrEP, LGBTQ inclusivity, substance use disorder, sexual positivity and other topics that most people avoid (or have "feelings" talking about). We give it to you honestly and bring in experts to share their advice and opinions.
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Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and renowned influencers and YouTubers. For 15 years Samuel has been one of the leading content generators for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for ...
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An enormous amount of time, money, effort, and good intentions goes into scientific research. But all too often the results aren’t shared – or effectively communicated – with those beyond the ivory tower of academia. The goal of Beyond the Jargon is to make academic research more accessible to a wider audience. Host Karen Albright engages listeners in a series of conversations designed to translate scientific research and to explore from a data-driven perspective the impacts of child abuse o ...
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For decades the 'inner child' has been a topic of confusion and misunderstanding as it relates to infidelity, problematic sexual behaviors and restoring both marriages and individuals. What actually is the inner child? Can I, an unfaithful, blame my inner child for my choices and affair(s)? Don't I have power over my own choices? Is the 'inner chil…
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Understanding 'the why' of the affair is vital for a variety of reasons including but not limited to relapse prevention, safety for the betrayed and long term healing for both parties. If an unfaithful doesn't know why they had an affair or acted our, how can they expect to prevent it from happening again in the future? How can they assure their pa…
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Today on the podcast you'll meet Tyler Patrick who is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Tyler shares his down to earth insight into how the unfaithful spouse can develop what he calls 'shame resilience.' Without the ability for the unfaithful to be resilient to shame, we'll continue to make every situation and conversation about us instead …
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Have you ever wondered how to establish and keep your boundaries up after infidelity? What about when the betrayed struggles with abandonment or low self worth? How do they even determine what boundaries they need to set in the first place? Today you'll hear a no nonsense, heart to heart talk from expert clinician and survivor of infidelity, Sharon…
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Dr. Jill manning is quickly becoming a regular on Sam's Healing Podcast, encouraging both the unfaithful and the betrayed to find a new level of emotional maturity. While betrayal trauma can feel insurmountable, it's clearly not due to the insight and direction and hope that we can heal from the wisdom of Dr. Manning. While last time we discussed f…
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Today you'll meet a great friend and hero of mine, author John Lee. Author of over 25 books, and known therapist to therapists, John Lee has been a guest on Oprah, The View, 20/20, PBS and Barbara Walters. The father of Regression one might say, shares his poignant insight into how we regress in life and how to grow ourselves back up. "Regression i…
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Today you'll meet Dr. Jill Manning who shares five key markers of emotional immaturity that help explain why we have affairs and develop addictions. An expert in her own right but compassionate to the wounds of both the betrayed and the unfaithful, Dr. Manning helps explain what emotional immaturity looks like in the unfaithful and how they can tak…
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Should a couple explore novelty in their sexuality? What about if that marriage has been affected by infidelity or addiction? If you're dealing with erectile dysfunction, what steps can you take practically to help bring about healing, change and mutual fulfillment? It's these types of questions that require an expert's protocol. Dr. Matthew Hedeli…
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Today you'll meet Jordan, a great friend and survivor of infidelity. The nuances to the betrayed male story are different, yet not worse nor better than the betrayed female. They are however, very challenging. It's my opinion betrayed males all over the world continue to feel ostracized and embarrassed, feeling as though they are some sort of albat…
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Today I welcome back Dr. Jake Porter into the podcast to discuss how the betrayed partner can deal with an unfaithful, narcissistic spouse while trying to save a marriage. It's a given that narcissism alone can be difficult to maneuver but coupled with infidelity and/or addiction and it can seem absolutely insurmountable. The good news is, while it…
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Have you ever wondered if you can get your life back after infidelity or addiction? Maybe you feel, at this moment, there's no way in hell you could get your life back and you'll never make it through this awful chapter of your life? It's a normal belief that we'll never be the same again, until we meet someone who is on the other side of the awful…
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Today I'm joined by expert clinician Dr. Matthew Hedelius who specializes in infidelity, addiction and problematic sexual behaviors. While the director of Paradise Creek Recovery Center, Dr. Hedelius also provides both practical and multilayered insight into how to care for partners of those who struggle with infidelity and addiction. With a delica…
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Have you ever felt like you were the victim in your marriage or relationship? Maybe you've even felt like a victim all your life? It's also possible you've felt like your partner continually reverts back to a victim mindset in your situation? I wonder if they do it not just because they are a betrayed partner, but perhaps something in their childho…
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Today you'll meet a new friend, Dr. Jake Porter who shares insight into how to find meaning amidst the rubble of our own choices or our partner's after infidelity or addiction. Not only an expert in recovery work, Dr. Porter has experienced his own pain and heartbreak which provides a framework of compassion, insight and expert help for those looki…
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Today I'm joined once again by my great friend, mentor and colleague Michael Webb. I hope you'll join us today as we participate in fascinating discussion on how we sacrifice, if not abandon ourselves in the pursuit of closeness, oneness and hopeful restoration with our partner. The difficulty in this is we run the chance of losing ourselves, yet g…
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Today you'll hear from one of our favorite guests, a fan favorite and expert clinician, Amanda Asproni. Not only an expert in dealing with infidelity, addiction, and various forms of trauma, she's also a survivor of infidelity, trauma and narcissistic abuse. I ask her the tough questions today as she discusses how various forms of trauma can make h…
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Today I welcome back in podcast regulars, James and Sharon to discuss why partners cheat in relationships. It's a common burden the betrayed carry: that somehow they are the reason their spouse or partner cheated and they were not enough. Since they are then are responsible for their partner's cheating, they cannot draw boundaries, have hard expect…
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Today, a great friend of mine and an expert clinician, James Annear, discusses intimacy avoidance, childhood trauma, and infidelity. While digging deep into his own training and education James also shares masterful insight from personal experience with his own trauma and avoidance. Have you ever wondered why your spouse, particularly the unfaithfu…
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Today you'll hear from developmental trauma expert Tom Gagliano on how to create safety for our kids. What if we could help our kids heal from trauma? What if we could prevent our kids from owning what they were never intended to own? From shame to humiliation to unnecessary guilt, what if we could spare our kids from our own baggage and trauma whi…
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Today you'll meet a friend and survivor of both his own infidelity and his wife's. From depression to anxiety, to hopelessness and despair, Jake shares his own private hell for those who feel like they're alone in their suffering. While he and his family are on the upswing doing great, their story takes an awful turn early on in recovery and you'll…
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Behind The Smile by John Sternfels and Melissa Roberts is a real-life story of how one of John's clients, Melissa Roberts, overcame the horrors of being abused, traumatized, and sexually betrayed. As a result, Melissa experienced many psychological complexities, often behind a facade of happiness. The book is designed to offer readers a deeper unde…
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In this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels examines the complexities of gender identity and gender dysphoria in children and adolescents. John discusses from a Christian perspective, how to discuss this complex topic with children in a sensitive and informed manner. Talking to children who struggle with gender identity and gender dysphor…
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A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health Introduction Mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. It affects daily functioning, relationships, and physical health. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness but also involves the presence of positive …
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In this episode, Patrick Eiler's LPC, CSAT talks about self-image and self-definition. Self-image and self-definition are two facets of identity that significantly shape how individuals perceive themselves and interact with the world around them. While they are interconnected, they represent distinct aspects of one's self-concept. Self-image relate…
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In this episode, I will dive into the core of human connection, exploring the transformative power of understanding, compassion, and shared emotions through empathy. Empathy, often hailed as the glue that binds us together, is more than just a buzzword. It's the force that bridges gaps, dismantles barriers, and fosters a sense of unity in an ever-e…
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The concept of healthy sex can be explored through a multidimensional lens that takes into account various aspects of human well-being. The 12-dimension model provides a comprehensive framework to understand and promote a holistic approach to sexual health. By acknowledging and nurturing each dimension of this model, individuals and couples can cul…
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses the topic of fear. Fear, an emotion deeply embedded in the human experience, has been a subject of fascination, analysis, and debate throughout history. As a multifaceted phenomenon, fear touches upon various aspects of our lives, influencing our decisions, shaping our perceptions, and …
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Toxic shame. Toxic shame is a pervasive and enduring form of shame that can significantly impact one's quality of life. It is consciously transferred by means of shaming rules and can be deeply ingrained in one's sense of self, leading to constant exposure of the failure of the self to …
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Marriage, Now What? Marriage, Now What? encapsulates the sentiment many couples experience after the initial excitement of marriage settles. It's a reflective phase where partners may ponder the direction of their relationship. This question invites couples to embrace the evolving natur…
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses children and social media. Children and social media have become inseparable in today's digital age. As technology advances, more kids are gaining access to various social media platforms at increasingly younger ages. While social media offers opportunities for communication, creativity…
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Polygraphs, also known as lie detectors. Polygraphs are instruments used to measure physiological responses associated with truthfulness or deception. The primary purpose of a polygraph test is to assess whether a person is being truthful or deceptive in their responses to a set of ques…
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In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses partner betrayal trauma. Partner Betrayal Trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, financial, spiritual, and relational distress experienced by an individual when their partner engages in actions that violate trust and betray the core values of the relationship. This type of traum…
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In this podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels will discuss sexual addiction, also known as hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior, and the 30-Task model of recovery. "Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior. Family breakups, financial disasters, loss of jobs, a…
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In this week's podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting. Healthy parenting is a multifaceted approach that involves providing emotional, physical, and cognitive support to foster a child's overall well-being and development. It goes beyond meeting basic needs and extends into creating a nurturing and p…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Jacquelynn Duron, associate professor at Rutgers University, and Melissa South, assistant director of the WISE Program at Children’s Aid and Family Services in South Orange, New Jersey, about their work to address and treat problematic sexual behavior in youth and help stop cycles of shame and …
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In this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting. The parent-child relationship is a fundamental and unique bond that plays a crucial role in shaping an individual's development and well-being. It is a complex interplay of emotions, responsibilities, and influence that evolves over time. This relation…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Kelley Fong, assistant professor at the University of California-Irvine and the author of Investigating Families: Motherhood in the Shadow of Child Protective Services, about her work exploring families' interactions with state and social service systems, particularly the child welfare system. …
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Donna Bloom and Sarah Lehman, the Director of Legal Services and the Advocacy Coordinator at Denton County Friends of the Family, a non-profit organization in Texas that provides compassionate, comprehensive services to those impacted by domestic violence, about their work to promote safety, he…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Sharmaine Joyner, Program Manager for Project CATCH, about her work to build a collaborative case management model that provides youth-focused services to families and children experiencing homelessness. Project CATCH: https://southernusa.salvationarmy.org/wake/project-catch…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, host Karen Albright talks with Karen Fetherston, Executive Director of BeLEAF Survivors, about her longtime work with the Stop Child Abuse & Neglect (SCAN) program to provide direct service prevention education in schools. BeLEAF Survivors: www.beleafsurvivors.org Beyond the Jargon is brought to you by the Nati…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Galena Rhoades, Research Professor at the University of Denver and Executive Director of Thriving Families, a non-profit that provides support programs for women during pregnancy and postpartum to foster stronger family relationships and improve their well-being. Learn more about Thriving F…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Heather J. Risser, Director of the Family CARE Parenting Lab and Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, about her work to partner with parents and community providers to find gaps in service acces…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Hank Puls, Associate Professor in the Department of Pediatrics and the Division of Pediatric Hospital Medicine at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, about his work to reduce child maltreatment, particularly physical abuse during infancy and early childhood.…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Lisa Schelbe, Director of the Child Well-Being Research Network and Associate Professor at Florida State University, about the importance of collaboration between researchers, policymakers, and practitioners—and why that collaboration is sometimes difficult to achieve. "Transition to Adulth…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Stephen Gruver, the Director of Social Services at the Salvation Army of Wake County, about his work to promote a safe and supportive environment for families and children, particularly through trauma-informed programs designed to coordinate services for those experiencing homelessness.…
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What are Family Resource Centers, and how do we measure their effectiveness in preventing child abuse and neglect? In this episode, Karen talks with Dr. Sara Bayless, a Vice President and researcher at the OMNI Institute, about the organization's work to measure the return on investment to local child welfare systems by investing in Family Resource…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Natasha Saunders and Dr. Etienne Archambault about their work to understand the scope and nature of the development of mental illness in children following physical assault. Dr. Saunders and Dr. Archambault are pediatrician-researchers at the University of Toronto, the Hospital for Sick Chi…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Dr. Heather Taussig, Professor at the University of Denver’s Graduate School of Social Work and an Adjunct Professor at the Kempe Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse and Neglect at the University of Colorado, about her work investigating the buffering impact of turning points…
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In this episode of Beyond the Jargon, Karen talks with Michele Fingerman, Vice President of Prevention Programs for the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, Larel Jacobs, Director of Hotline Operations for Childhelp, and Laura Schwab Reese, Assistant Professor at Purdue University, about their collaborative, data-driven work to incorporate text …
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