Foreword, by Louis C.K./Introduction: My First Joke

Unstoppable Farce; The Mitch Maloney Story

Endnotes:

1. This foreword, by Louis C.K. was not written for this book, Unstoppable Farce. It was originally intended for inclusion in Nothing Left to Lose, my first autobiography written in 2028, but was dropped by the publisher for unspecified reasons and was replaced by a less-than-enthusiastic but quirky and charming essay by Sarah Silverman that included actual paid advertisements for Masterclass and Zip Recruiter, considered an innovation in the publishing world at the time. The writing and reception of Nothing Left to Lose is addressed in Chapter 27, while my professional and personal relationship with Louis C.K. is discussed in Chapters 17-20.
2. These statistics, and others that appear throughout Unstoppable Farce, were culled from archived meta-editions of Duntzopedia.
3. The principles of the Universal Timewave, Hasslein’s Curve, the formation of the Chortle Portal, and how these recordings are being transmitted through time-space,, etc. will be discussed in the final chapter of this book, though to be honest I’m not sure if I truly understand them myself and therefore am unable to properly explain them. At some point you’ve got to trust the scientists, and that point is apparently when you’re on the precipice of intergalactic obliteration, so I’ll just have to cross my synthetic graphene fingers and hope Professor Hasslein know what he’s talking about.