Behavior is Biology

The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast

“I ask my child, ‘What do you need right now?’” explains Heather on how she responds to her child when she sees them struggling, or using what is perceived as negative behaviors. In this episode, co-hosts Heather Wagner and Donna McLaughlin discuss the way our society pathologizes behavior and how this can be harmful to both adults, and for a neurodivergent child’s development. They talk about alternative ways to think about behavior and how to respond productively in situations where a dysregulated child is demonstrating maladaptive behaviors.

Heather dives deep into a question she recently received from a parent regarding their child’s upcoming functional behavior analysis. Heather presents the idea that society has chosen to pathologize children’s behavior rather than understand the biology behind it. Donna and Heather explain that behavior is an involuntary response to a trigger. When a parent or teacher can identify the trigger behind a behavior, they can better understand what the child needs and correct the maladaptive behavior without being punitive.

Tune into this week’s episode of The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast to learn more about better regulating your own emotions before responding to a dysregulated child. If you are an educator or parent of a neurodivergent child and experiencing frustration with their behaviors, don’t miss out on this conversation!

Quotes

• “Behavior is typically not a choice. It’s a symptom or an involuntary response to an emotional trigger or some sort of event that is happening outside of our control.” (07:09-07:25 | Donna)

• “What we do in our society is we pathologize normal biological responses.” (12:57-13:02 | Heather)

• “If it’s a tantrum, you need to ignore it. And my heart broke because they’re all meltdowns. They’re all dysregulated states where a child needs a regulated caregiver and this is what the problem is.” (15:53-16:20 | Heather)

• “We are the adult in the situation. They are the child in the situation. If we as the adult cannot even control our own regulatory system in response to our child’s behavior, then how are we asking them either developmentally or as a human to be able to respond to things when they’re feeling very out of control or afraid or whatever it is that they’re experiencing?” (17:14-17:41 | Donna)

• “I ask my child, ‘What do you need right now?’” (24:57-25:12 | Heather)

• “I want everyone to understand what it is we’re dealing with, so we can better advocate and we can help co-regulate… Let’s take the shame and the punishment and the punitive and all of that trauma away.” (35:54-36:11 | Heather)

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