Episode 199: Restful sleep with a baby and two young children with Carly Facius

The Aware Parenting Podcast

I'm so delighted that Carly Facius has returned to the podcast for the 4th time. She was also on episodes 149, 154, and 159. Carly is a mother of three, Registered Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, holds a Master of Primary Maternity Care, and is an Aware Parenting instructor. Carly starts off by sharing her own journey with sleep with her first baby, and how surprised she was that after being so connected with her intuition and trusting her body and baby for the pregnancy and birth and for the first four months, that for a week, she started following the concept of sleep windows. Living in Indonesia, with an Indonesian husband, all around her she saw something very different to the practices she'd read about online of helping babies sleep according to the clock. She really didn't enjoy that week. The intensity of the focus on sleep took her away from being present with her baby, and led her to think that there was something wrong with what she was doing, and that there was something wrong with her baby. After that week, she shifted her practice entirely, and felt so much more relaxed. She saw babies and children sleeping everywhere and anywhere in Indonesia and it made so much sense that the routine she'd created in that week wasn't helpful at all. We talk about co-sleeping, and 'bedtimes', and how common it is in a very high percentage of the world's population for babies and children to co-sleep and for there not to be early bedtimes. We also talk about how Aware Parenting makes it possible for everyone in the family to share a bed together, and to all sleep restfully, without the baby or child moving around restlessly, or needing to be in a particular position, eg. under a parent's arm or on top of the parent. She talks about what a difference it made for her when she shifted from Classical Attachment Parenting to Aware Parenting when her son was 18 months old, including her partner being able to support their son to go to sleep. Carly shares about her experience of listening to her third child's feelings since birth has made, especially on his sleep, including while consistently travelling. He slept peacefully, even with noise around, which was very different to tiptoeing away when her first baby was sleeping. She also enjoyed the freedom of her partner being able to support their baby to go to sleep right from early on. Carly also talks about her own experience of working with parents from all around the world and from a wide variety of parenting beliefs and practices, including from families who had been to sleep consultants prior, and how she supported to find ways that resonated with them in relation to sleep. We talk about the importance of parents listening in to their own yeses and noes in terms of what resonates with them about sleep theories and practices. Carly shares about the loveliness of knowing that with Aware Parenting, whatever we've done in the past, we can help our babies heal, and we can also heal from past experiences. She shares how her perspective on bedtimes has completely changed, and how she invites parents to focus on their own sleep. She says, "everyone's rested in my family." You can find out about Carly's 1:1 work, her circles, and other offerings, at: https://www.instagram.com/seed_pod_/ ~~~ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD