**Production is on hiatus to devote more time to Keen's Turn (https://melainablanc.com/).** Tales of horror, peculiarity, and the supernatural, read and sometimes written by Melaina Blanc. From Edgar Allan Poe to Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, to H. P. Lovecraft and beyond, join me for a celebration of strange and spooky stories. What's that music, you ask, rising from the crypt? The tomb's tones.
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Jared Stern is going to die. That is, unless he can slay a vampire before falling to his fangs… When an anxious altruist becomes chance witness to a vampire's murderous meal, he takes it upon himself to rid his city of the threat. But the vampire, not so easily defeated, takes an interest of his own in his would-be slayer. Stakes are raised in ensuing bloody battles, a bout of about turns of turns of mind, and a deadpan penchant for puns—and that's only the beginning. So join me, for a livel ...
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Spooky Sbooky Giveaway #1 (Oct. 2023): Win Free Books
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This October, enter for a chance to win a free spooky sbooky supernatural/horror/vampire fiction prize bundle: https://melainablanc.com/2023/09/29/spooky-sbooky-giveaway-oct-2023-win-free-books/ ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. …
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Join me for the season wrap-up. The road thus far, the road ahead, the road less traveled by... Also, not to "giveaway" too much, but some announcements inside. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me…
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Chapter 7: Knight's Cuffs (4th quarter)
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Left in the dark again, and no way out. As he faces down another vampire battle, it's time for Jared to pun for his life... ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on Twitter and Instagram, @MelainaBlan…
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Chapter 7: Knight's Cuffs (3rd quarter)
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With daylight running out, Jared must convince the woman from last night that her life is in danger before there's another vampire murder... ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on Twitter and Instag…
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Chapter 7: Night Scuffs (2nd quarter)
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Jared heads to Manhattan for some suspenseful stalking of the sexy lady being stalked by the vampire... Also, horror in the dark, anxiety, and DIY home repair. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on…
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Chapter 7: Night Scuffs (1st quarter)
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Jared tries to not get murdered long enough to put his tenuous vampire slaying plan into action... Also, it's someone else's turn to do some stalking. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on Twitter …
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Chapter 6: Wooden Stairs (4th quarter)
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Lights out in the allegedly haunted hospital, and Jared had better put his plan into motion before the vampire puts his lights out, too... Also, some cutting puns and a wild ride. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear …
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Dust off your cassette player for another year-end interlude... We take a break from audio drama for the humorous adventure that is having a muse, plus a bemusing commentary on quaint names for birds. Working title: "Corvid 19." ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: h…
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Chapter 6: Wooden Stairs (3rd quarter)
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Drama at the beach, then Jared returns to a crumbling hospital to settle things with the vampire once and for all... Also, how many vampire hunters it takes to screw in a light bulb. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to he…
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Chapter 6: Wooden Stares (2nd quarter)
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Time to meet the gang at the beach, and hopefully no one is stalking them... Also, crude jokes, a surprise reveal, and what your mom did last night. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on Twitter an…
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Chapter 6: Wooden Stares (1st quarter)
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With time running out before his next death match, Jared needs a better vampire hunting strategy, and fast... Also, abusing a librarian, Nazi romance, and the mystery of the ceiling. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to he…
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Chapter 5: Vampire Vigilante (4th quarter)
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Enter an unwelcome visitor with an unwelcome proposal... Also: tension, threats, an important decision, and some quite keen puns. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear from you. Find me on Twitter and Instagram, @Melai…
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Chapter 5: Vampire Vigilante (3rd quarter)
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With no solutions in sight and the prospect of another sleepless night ahead of him, it might be time to ask for help... Also, puns in the office and horror in the bachelor pad. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Hello. I'd love to hear fr…
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Chapter 5: Vampire Vigil and Tea (2nd quarter)
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With his home now hostile territory, Jared reviews his options around ever being able to sleep again... ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to hear from you! Find me on Twitter and Instagra…
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Chapter 5: Vampire Vigil and Tea (1st quarter)
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Jared's gone and called the cops on a vampire. Didn't he say he wasn't going to do that? Also, the disturbing consequences of last night's visitation. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to…
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Jared regrets his foray into vampire hunting, as it comes back to bite him... Also, all the best prophecies rhyme. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to hear from you! Find me on Twitter a…
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Jared is about to lose the death match... ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to hear from you! Find me on Twitter and Instagram, @MelainaBlanc https://twitter.com/MelainaBlanc https://www.…
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Chapter 3: Look Up for the Plant (2nd half)
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The curtain rises on a ruinous splendor, the crumbling stage for a duel to the death... Also, a mysterious caller and a vampiric introduction. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to hear fr…
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Chapter 3: Lookup for the Plant (1st half)
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Jared moves from vampire prospector toward vampire hunter. And with a death match scheduled at the power plant, it's high time for some lookups. Alſo, the uſage of the long s, and an old newſpaper article on bloodſuckers. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://…
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Break out your cassette player for a year-end interlude... Also, the other worst years of all time, and a musing ode. ✶✞ Uplifting related reading: https://www.history.com/topics/world-war-i/1918-flu-pandemic https://www.science.smith.edu/climatelit/frankenstein-and-the-vampyre/ https://www.britannica.com/event/Black-Death https://www.sciencemag.or…
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Chapter 2: Burying Ledes (2nd half)
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In the aftermath of a pun-ishing fight, Jared pursues the story of another man's run-in with death... Also, conspiracy, intrigue, and more people who don't appreciate puns. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve…
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Chapter 2: Burying Leads (1st half)
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Jared returns to the scene of the crime, to find it already occupied... ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to hear from you! Find me on Twitter and Instagram, @MelainaBlanc https://twitter…
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Chapter 1: Steps To Ward (2nd half)
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After having narrowly escaped with his life, Jared makes an impulsive decision... Also, Jared finishes his vampire noir, and no one appreciates puns. ✶✞ Transcripts are linked on the website, where you can sign up for the mailing list to get updates and bonus material: https://melainablanc.com/ Have an idea that would improve the show? I'd like to …
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Chapter 1: Steps Toward (1st half)
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Jared Stern wanders out into the night, dreaming curious things as he always does, but never of the turn tonight is about to take... Welcome to Star–Cross, book one: Keen's Turn. This lively vampire thriller falls somewhere between audiobook and audio drama, in the vein of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with a splash more Dracula. ✶✞ Transcripts are link…
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Lend me your ears, lend me your eyes, lend me any organs you can spare, and prepare yourself for a vampire story like no other. Keen's Turn is a horror comedy audio drama packed with thrills, chills, and more puns than you can shake a stake at. The trailer video that accompanies this episode is parked on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UHPyOtYF19I This i…
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Trailer | Keen's Turn: A High-Stakes Vampire Horror Comedy
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Lend me your ears, lend me your eyes, lend me any organs you can spare, and prepare yourself for a vampire story like no other. Keen's Turn is a horror comedy audio drama packed with thrills, chills, and more puns than you can shake a stake at. The trailer video that accompanies this episode is parked on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UHPyOtYF19I When r…
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Rashōmon, by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa
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A lowly servant stands beneath Rashōmon Gate, waiting for a break in the rain. Notes: A raccoon dog, or tanuki, is neither a racoon nor a dog, and like the fox it is regarded in Japan as a trickster animal. "Kimono" literally translates as "thing for wearing" and as such refers to an ungendered garment. The Heian Period was from 794 to 1185, when K…
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On the surface superficial joy in rhyming interstitial, There is nothing artificial in the poem here in store— Not a stanza injudicial in the poem here in store. Quoted here for evermore. Notes (words are defined in the sense they are used in the poem): surcease: an end obeisance: gesture of respect mien: appearance; attitude Pallas: Athena, the Gr…
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The Cask of Amontillado, by Edgar Allan Poe
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This tale of vengeance begins in Italy, amidst the madness of the carnival season... "Nemo me impune lacessit." No one impugns me with impunity. Music: https://www.purple-planet.com "Immuration"
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, by Washington Irving (Part 3/3)
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As the merry-making extends towards the very witching hour of night, a ride homewards promises our hero a journey through the haunts of that infamous spectre, the HEADLESS HORSEMAN of Sleepy Hollow. Music: https://www.purple-planet.com "Creepy Hollow"
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, by Washington Irving (Part 2/3)
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With his heart set on the attractive Katrina Van Tassel and her even more attractive inheritance, Ichabod Crane finds a formidable rival in the person of BROM BONES, the town rowdy. Music: https://www.purple-planet.com "Creepy Hollow"
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, by Washington Irving (Part 1/3)
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If you are familiar with the lands just north of the largest port city in the great State of New-York, you may have heard of the region known as SLEEPY HOLLOW, and of the strange tales and superstitions which seem to float in its very air, and infect any who tarry there overlong. Music: https://www.purple-planet.com "Creepy Hollow"…
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From Beyond, by H. P. Lovecraft
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You may have heard something of the accursed affair already, with the rumors in the papers of imprudent scientific pryings, and it is these not unsubstantiated rumors that lead me to break my silence on the matter of my best friend, Crawford Tillinghast. Although it is not a tale which I recount with any eagerness... Ending music: https://www.purpl…
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The Tell-Tale Heart, by Edgar Allan Poe
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Now I comprehend you think me mad, but harken well to my tale, and I am assured it will convince you of my perfect sanity, as it would any sane person... The music is by Setuniman on Freesound (https://freesound.org/people/Setuniman/). Copyright Setuniman, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License (https://creativecommon…
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