Debutante culture in the South is fancy and persistent -- and often very secretive. In "Recovering Debs," writer and former debutante Mary Lambeth Moore examines the shadow side of high society in North Carolina, the only state that continues to have a statewide debutante ball. The podcast begins with a story from the 1960s when a young woman's prominent father made her debut a matter of life-and-death. Subsequent episodes include interviews with more recent state debutantes and academic exp ...
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In this final episode, Mary offers personal reflections and parting thoughts. She reviews key points from the podcast and reaches a surprising conclusion: Perhaps, at its core, the NC debutante ball isn’t really so much about the young women who debut. She also discusses the exclusivity of the debutante season as a symptom of larger economic barrie…
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Protecting Southern Womanhood (1920s and 2020s)
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Short bonus: We go back to the era when North Carolina debutantes first emerged, shortly after women won the right to vote – but with no thanks to NC lawmakers. Mary discovers a family connection to the NC senator who tried his best to block women’s suffrage. She muses on the timing of the state’s first debs and the timing in young women’s lives to…
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Stories, Questions, Answers & More Questions
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This episode covers a lot of ground, including personal stories and bits of NC debutante history. We hear directly from four NC women who have deb-related memories—some funny, some poignant. We also answer listener questions, delving into how one becomes an NC debutante (you can’t apply) and how the whole thing began (the first NC debutante ball wa…
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Behind the Curtain: Debutantes and Secrecy
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“Secrecy gives you control over somebody who doesn't know the secret. It can also hide the truth from yourself.” This week’s guest, Dr. Cynthia Lewis, has interviewed a lot of people who have something to hide, like criminal investigators and professional gamblers. To her surprise, debutantes were just as slippery. She also discusses deb culture’s …
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Debutantes as Southern Royalty - Part 2
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Continuing the conversation with Anna Shelton-Ormond, we dive into a more analytical view of NC’s debutante scene. Anna’s research indicates that many NC debs are ambivalent in some way. So with all this ambivalence, why does the debutante tradition continue? Turns out that strong social, economic and cultural incentives exist that may keep it in p…
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Debutantes as Southern Royalty - Part 1
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What is North Carolina's state debutante ball really like? Former debutante and PhD student Anna Shelton-Ormond walks us through the rituals of the ball—including the famous decorated stools—and describes her personal experience. “It felt very ritualistic and very fake. It felt like my family was performing some kind of part in a play that just did…
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We turn our attention to NC's statewide debutante ball and hear from a more recent debutante. Anna from eastern NC talks about her experience: the bribe her older sister received, how Anna's thinking about deb culture changed over time, and the curious advice she received from an elder former debutante: Don't get too drunk. We also hear the Durham …
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Under Pressure: A Very Reluctant Debutante - Part 2
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Lisa Grabarek continues her story as a resistant debutante: Her reaction to her father's threat, the aftermath, and the surprising conversations with her parents that took place years later. She wraps it up with a cathartic purge in her family's home, plus advice to would-be debs.Oleh Mary Lambeth Moore
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Under Pressure: A Very Reluctant Debutante - Part 1
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In the 1960s, Mayor Wense Grabarek became nationally known as he led Durham, NC through a tumultuous period of desegregation. He was praised as a civil rights champion and a skilled peacemaker, but his household became a battleground as he and his wife insisted that their daughter, Lisa, make her Durham debut. Lisa tells the story of arguments and …
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