A poetic journey into gender transition
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Reflections on a real life transitioning from male to female. By Jay Rose Ana.
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![Artwork](/static/images/128pixel.png)
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Whispers in the Wind // Spoken Word // Poem
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Main Kemudian
Main Kemudian
Senarai
Suka
Disukai
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Original poem about the calmness of the forest, written at a time when I was feeling low, and yearned for some inner peace. ► SOCIAL MEDIA • tiktok ➭ https://www.tiktok.com/@jayroseana • pinterest ➭ https://www.pinterest.co.uk/jayroseana/ • twitter ➭ https://twitter.com/jayroseana/
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An original spoken word poem about losing someone you love. DYING LIGHT I need to stay, let me look upon you, And see your smile, as you rest in this place. Your place is ready, and soon you must leave. But I dare not move nor can walk away. Give my sorry to your homeward angel, Who waits to gently guide you on your way. Please tell her, from me, s…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 6 "Explaining Why" The day came to sit in front of my children and tell them their dad is becoming mum. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and TikTok, search for Jay Rose Ana…
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An original spoken word poem of affirmation. YOU ARE FABULOUS I see you and I respect you. I am ready to accept you. Don't be afraid and don't worry. There is no rush and no hurry. You're amazing and fabulous. Your truth is so miraculous. You are so beautifully whole. Simply you, not playing a role. You do not fit into a box. Nor qualify for a labe…
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An original spoken word poem about being transgender and feeling like an endangered species. TRANSGENDER DINOSAURS A million years passed right on by. Countless dinosaurs lived and died. A fricking great meteor struck the sea. Humans woke to what they could be. Then turned and looked the other way. Someone else’s problem today. Thousands more years…
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Original spoken word poetry about exploring and drifting along the beautiful River Severn in the United Kingdom. SEVERN HEAVEN I am in heaven. Everything I imagine. Or ever could imagine. I am in heaven. And who did I find? I found me right there, dwellin’. No more hate, no one yellin’. I am in heaven. I hover and glide. Upon the wing of a prayer. …
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Original spoken word poetry about feeling out of place. THE CANVAS WEEPS Is what I am doing selfish? Is that why I feel alone? Surrounded by understanding faces. Making carefully considered spaces. For them, not me, the different one. Slowly extracting me from them, Through the label of assurity. They call it inclusion. Yet, I feel an intrusion. In…
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Original spoken word poetry about an impossible awakening from a dream state, and yet, it happened in 2009. It never happened before, nor since, and I simply cannot explain it. A LUCID DREAM I once had a dream. A waking dream. Lucid, I believe it is called. I was heading down some stairs, In a dusty old brown house. One hand upon the wall. The othe…
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Original spoken word poetry about searching for someone to share your journey. WHAT WILL YOU BE? Who or what will I be? Where and when will you see? When can I be just me? Where can I live freely? My future I foresee. Rescind he for just she. Push back years of debris. Find myself and face me. Who out there will hold me? Be my one devotee? I swear …
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Original spoken word poetry about gender dysphoria and growing up in the 1970s. 1976 NANCY BOY Smoke. Industrial smoke. Chimney smoke. Thick smoke from un-serviced motor cars. Smoke from life-long chain smokers, roll ups, Cigarettes of a thousand brands, Filled with rubbish shared by dirty hands. Rubbish in filthy streets piled so high, Swarms of h…
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Original spoken word poetry about believing in yourself when faced with disappointment. DISAPPOINTMENT Your clear disappointment in me. I saw it immediately. Cloudy, grey ash topped with black slate. Your pursed thin lips, condemn my fate. Suspense hung in the morning air. Pressing firmly upon my hair. The briefest flicker of your eyes. About to pr…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 5 "Turning Point" The next step was to go out for a longer period of time, as my newly acquired gender, and see if I could actually exist in the world, not just dip into it. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and Tik…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 4 "Accepting Transition" I needed to prove to myself that I could go out into the world as me. I did not know who me was then, just a man in a dress, I guess. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and TikTok, search for…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 3 "Fear and Acceptance" I had not previously thought of myself as transgender, nor necessarily, of becoming a woman, I was letting go of years of being told I was a man. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and TikTok,…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 2 "Rushing and Waiting" That October night in 2018, I didn’t wake anyone. I so desperately wanted to. But, as they slept, doubt set in. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and TikTok, search for Jay Rose Ana…
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Becoming Jay Podcast - Reflections on a real life Episode 1 "Crying in the Rain" In October 2018, I was driving home on the motorway, on a long commute from work. I was a man then. If you enjoyed this podcast please checkout my website at www.jayroseana.com My poetry can be found on YouTube and TikTok, search for Jay Rose Ana…
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Original spoken word poetry about trusting your inner strength through gender transition I was met with many challenges when starting out in gender transition. I felt, almost every day, every hour, my strength was being tested. At a time when I was still coming to terms with being known as a transgender woman. But, through the love and support of o…
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Original spoken word poetry about the kindness of strangers during gender transition. Since coming out as a transgender woman, I have been lucky to find the kindness of strangers on many occasions. Quite often, at coffee shops (which I love and go to a lot for coffee and cake), and it is lovely when people ask to join me. I do not know why this is,…
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Original spoken word poetry about the gender dysphoria and reaching out to professionals for help. As an introvert I sometimes find it hard to talk openly so I use poetry to express my whole-self, gender affirmation and transitioning from male to female. This poem is about the two times I went to my GP's for help starting my gender transition from …
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Original spoken word poetry about facing fears and accept myself during gender transition. As a transgender woman, I needed to prove to myself that I could face the world as me. There were lots of doubts and self reflection, and fear and anxiety filled every moment. When they day came to step out into the world, and prove to myself that I could do,…
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Original spoken word poetry about believing in yourself when coming out NEVER NOT SURE It would seem, that never before, Did I need to be quite so sure? But in fact, the pure thing they miss, At all their consequent remisce, Is that I am quite secure, and Truly, I was never not sure. I did the work, I thought it through, Reached out and heard a vie…
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Original spoken word poetry about coming out as transgender for the first time. COMING OUT Coming out first time, for me, was torture, But now it happens each, and every, day. It was not, it seems, a one-off gesture. endlessly watching people walk away. Pointing a finger, saying no, no way. Hating and shaking their heads in dismay. These words are …
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FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a special gift. Our compassion heals harbored rift. Releasing hurt and wandered truth. Gives kind repose to squandered proof. Illusions lead to vanity, Valiance propels to clarity. Empathy unlocks sympathy. New found sense, frees antipathy. Embrace your soul, reach out your hand. Let life move on, like drifting sand. Show…
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A shorter remix of Dear Allies DEAR ALLIES REMIX (c) Jay Rose Ana
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When times seem hard, and when life seems impossible, and when you struggle to face the world. Focus on getting through today because you are going to be okay. YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY You are going to be okay, Focus on getting through today. You have come already this far, Take a moment, reflect on who you are. Consider the obstacles you have over…
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When enduring episodes of transphobic behaviour I try and imagine a better world where the hate is replaced by a smile and an open friendly hand. Sometimes, that hand can feel far away so unfortunately, it remains a dream but, I hope, that dream will one day come true. I don't think it is just transphobic behaviour. I imagine everyone, at some time…
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YOU ARE FABULOUS For you are fabulous, and Amazingly generous. Your Beauty is contagious, you're Utterly ravenous. Your Love is fathomless, and Oozing ampleness. You are Uniquely miraculous, put Simply, you are fabulous. (c) Jay Rose Ana You are Fabulous Photo by James Wheeler from Pexels
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Anxiety was commonplace for me in 2020 especially being a transgender woman. Lockdown meant more working and socialising from home, which inevitably meant meeting more people for the first time. Switching on a webcam means everyone can see you for the first time and that can feel uncomfortable and fuel anxiety. But, remember you are beautiful and t…
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What they don't tell you about transitioning! Nobody told me, when I transitioned my gender, I would be sharing everything I have with the women in my house! SHARING IS CARING Something shocking I found out, When I recently came out. Was how it feels, to share everything I own, Including my clothes, with the women in my home! My wife is in my dress…
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Pursue your goals and never give up. Extra Track: Turn your dream into reality and remember that persistence in doing anything is achieving success despite the obstacles in your way. PERSEVERANCE "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to success, Is always to try just one more time." - Thomas Edison "It does not matter how s…
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Even the darkest days have their turning point. Maintaining positive mental health is essential in managing the down days and accepting yourself for who you are. BRAND NEW DAY Today is a brand-new day! And to be honest, I did not think I would see the dawn. Engulfed in my own darkness, I lay in the dark, my life withdrawn. Not even the light of the…
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An original poem about making a big change in life. THE SKY OF MANY SUMMERS The sky hung out like washing on a line. Clouds drip dry, as birds resign. The distant rumble of a passenger jet. Fuelled by hopes of a better yet. The falling leaf, the seasons end. Releasing the branch, starts to descend. Life asunder, a crack of thunder! A lightning bolt…
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When telling the first few people about my planned gender transition I was met with a mixed response. I partly did not really know what to say to people nor how to say eloquently how I was feeling. Some of these people walked away from me. I found that when I patiently sat and listened to people, about their views, I was much more able to understan…
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My gender transition began whilst embracing my whole-self. The discovery of self is frought with forgotten memories that can surface quickly and become overwhelming. Finding the strength in yourself to face obstacles, and overcome them, is the balance of the things in your life that you can and cannot control. HIDDEN TREASURE For her, words are not…
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Transitioning gender has its ups and downs and can impact our mental health and wellbeing. It is the way we conduct ourselves in those times that gives us the experience and confidence to move forward. Trust in yourself, believe in you, and smile because you are fabulous. HOT AIR BALLOON Some days, I feel like a hot air balloon, Some days, I am hol…
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Transphobic behaviour from others can have a major impact particularly at the early stages of gender transition. Finding the strength to believe in yourself is essential to your wellbeing. During my early days of transition I was anxious, hesitant, and unsure of myself, and this was a time when I was still coming to terms with my situation. Transph…
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Finding that moment when you realise who you are. COMPLETELY UNEXPECTEDLY Some of the best things in life, Happen through hard work and determination. Some of the best things in life, Happen completely unexpectedly at a service station. Like driving home, one night, on a long commute. And suddenly, life makes sense. And even though it sounds totall…
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THE FEAR OF TRANSITION Before I transitioned, There were a couple of things, That I admit I envisioned. Thoughts that ran through my head, And through my heart, Often whilst I was driving or in bed, And my soul, Kept me up at night, Not feeling whole, Forcing heart and mind apart. I will try and number them in a list, It is not a big list, So pleas…
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DEAR LOVE Dear love, I have gone, I am not exactly sure why. But you need to carry on, Please look forward, not back, Be happy, do not cry. I felt it coming, and I know you did too, Though I cannot say the moment, When I knew it was true. Our paths have uncrossed, our futures untwined. You need to go your way, and I need to go mine. Please do not h…
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CHILDREN LOVE RAINBOWS I would like to say, life is black and white. But dysphoria is not even shades of grey. I would like to express, what is on my mind, But to be honest, I am afraid to say. I would like to think life is red, green, and blue, But that would be unfair on every other hue. I would like to show how it feels to be me, But the person …
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PLEASE COLLECT YOUR LABEL So, you are trans? You must be gay? Or a lesbian? what is it today? I need to describe you in just one word, My brain is confounded by the ideas it has heard. You do not fit into my list? Of things that are just two. Girl or boy? Man or woman? Make up your mind, Which one are you? I do not understand, The things that I fea…
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SOMETHING I NEED TO SAY Sit down, just here, my love. I have something I need to say. I have been trying to find the words, And I have been putting off today. I need you to take a leap of faith, And help me understand. I am out of my comfort zone, And it would help if I could hold your hand. I have wanted to say, So many, many times. I trust you. I…
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FREE FALL Gasping for breath, I can hardly breathe. Plummeting down, Through a chasm of doubt. In gravity’s hands, I entrust my fate. The silence of free fall, My only escape. A single voice, A signal in noise. “I know how you feel, You are not alone”, they shout. Another step back, another look down, “I know that feeling of doubt.” “Take a chance …
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POOL OF TEARS Sometimes, I wonder, Where love really is? Headlong down a rabbit hole, No wonderland here. A familiar tune, The words unclear, Like a half-remembered song, Half-joy, half-tears, all-fear. Drinking the potion, From a metre to a mile. Does not really matter, When an empty vial. Going through the motions, Search for it still. Like the C…
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KINDNESS Kith and kin forgives our sin. I, becomes we, for the world to see. Night and day are equally bright. Deeds not words, measure our light. No magic here, what you see it what you get. Every new day is a gift, we must never forget. Sowing a seed of kindness, is how we grow a friend! Staying true, staying open, staying you, your best you, is …
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MY JOURNEY My character, Has took some knocks, In recent times. But being so close, I just did not, See it happening. I did not, Feel its presence, And do you know what? I felt like a victim. Entitled. I fell into a trap. I am not a victim. I have too much love around me, To ever have the right, To use that word. Life threw some challenges at me, A…
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WELCOME TO TRANSPHOBIA Sticks and stones, The saying goes, May break my bones, But in their headlights, Fear froze. Then, I am sitting, In a ditch, Thinking today, Is a real bitch. Driven off the road, Watching them, As they point and goad. Hateful laughter, Hurtful names, Directed to me. How do I respond? When they will not, Let me be? And not eve…
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NEW MORNINGS DAWN Somewhere in between, The night and the day. Is a moment where I am me, The best me, I might say. Half-dream, half-awake, Full of hope, make no mistake. This sombre dawn pause, Reveals me, my truth, awake. The cool of the air, Through the windows breeze. The warmth of the bed, A few more minutes tease. The tick of the clock, Marks…
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THE DEVIL TO PAY For God sake someone tell me, How I spirit away, These thoughts that haunt me, Tomorrow is another today. In the street, You would not pay me, Any particular time of day, So, time passes slowly, These thoughts, Pushed out the way. But, if you were to tell me, Perhaps, sometime today. That the only day I could have, Would indeed, be…
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THE LOST SEA Today I read some tweets, Discussing my right to exist. More specifically transitioning, From one gender to another. I have always believed, I am not transitioning at all. I am simply becoming me, Who I truly am, Who I was always meant to be. I see television programmes, Discussing if people like me should be allowed. Fuelled by people…
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