Can emptiness be unlearned? I was raised in a Christian home. And no, I’m not about to tell you how I “outgrew” it or “evolved” past it. But I went through a season of depression that exposed the truth. Deep down I thought God hated me. This podcast is a documentation of the years I’ve spent unlearning half truths and digging for deeper ones. It’s a podcast about the journey out of Victimhood, Cowardice & Self Obsession and into; The Good, The True, & The Beautiful.
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A podcast dedicated to sharing stories from communities that are typically portrayed as nameless, faceless victims in mainstream media and news.
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Thursday Cigars #03 | Humility & Peace/Vervaeke on Video Games
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Today we speak about the relationship between humility and peace, then we (quickly) discuss John Vervaeke’s ideas on why video games are so addictive.Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Thursday Cigars #02 | Bringing Up the Bottom, Bringing Down the Top
1:17:43
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Main Kemudian
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1:17:43
Today my dad and discuss weed, the interplay between Christianity and politics, hierarchy vs. acceptance, and how resentment undoes it all. Link to Ben & Marc podcast mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-future-of-the-american-dream/id1713388101?i=1000656137765Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Thursday Cigars #01 | The Goal & The Journey
59:34
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59:34
Today my dad and friend Kevin join me for an informal chat on “success”, goals, and how to live the journey well.Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Today my dad joins me to discuss the ever present cloud of insignificance, and a few thoughts on how to kill it.Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Metropolis (1927), God, Other Stuff w/ Ulysses
1:08:09
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Main Kemudian
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1:08:09
Today we discuss the 1927 dystopian sci-fi movie "Metropolis" and many other things. check out the movie: https://youtu.be/W_4no842TX8?si=q56XwdxLINe-ASxYcheck out Ulysses' work:https://comicsodyssey.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=webOleh Zach Rudolph
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Art, Faith, & The Ground Between w/ Ulysses
1:09:26
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1:09:26
Must art be based in nihilism and resentment? What would something else even look like? Ulysses joins me to discuss.Check out Ulysses' work: https://comicsodyssey.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=webOleh Zach Rudolph
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Today I introduce you to my new friend Ulysses. He shares his Jehovah's Witness upbringing, turning to spiritualism, and ending up in church.Check out his work: https://comicsodyssey.substack.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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In your regrets, how accurately are you remembering who you were? Are you overestimating who you were to increase the drama of the failure? Do you find self sabotage a perverse pleasure? Today my dad joins me for a short discussion on regret. P.s. there’s a lot happening over on substack and I’d love to have you join us! https://open.substack.com/p…
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Why The Church Is Dying | commentary on Louise Perry x Justin Brierley
1:00:49
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1:00:49
Why is the church dying? Today we jump into the recent Louise Perry & Justin Brierley conversation and explore this.Link to original post: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7yjvfTurWOgzLVIU9Cj9li?si=k79P0vApQ5WfORYmoFWj5w have thoughts? email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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One Week Off Social Media | a very dramamine induced chat
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About a week ago, I got off social media. Today in this very disorganized chat, I go over a few reasons why and a few incremental steps you could experiment with if you’ve thought about it also. Tell me stuff! zachrudolph33@gmail.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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The Perverse Pleasure of Sovereignty
29:45
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29:45
Today I join my dad to discuss religious neuroticism, the strange desire to punish oneself for sin, and the sovereignty of God. I hope it blesses you. Link to source article: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/a-seductive-trapOleh Zach Rudolph
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“You’re never too successful to be unhappy.” Today I join my dad over coffee to dig into a innovation on happiness I discovered while reading ‘Goodbye, Things - The New Japanese Minimalism’ we discuss it’s implications and how it might change the way we make goals.Happy New Year friends! Goodbye, Things: https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Things-New-Ja…
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Existentialism & The Cosmic Anti-Patriot
8:10
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8:10
Between the inherent difficulty of life and how easily we fall into self deception, It can become natural for many of us to live in a kind of jaded misery. Today I discuss how existentialism can easily turn into self-pity for a person like me, and then we explore an excerpt from a brilliant piece by GK Chesterton.Read Chesterton’s full piece: https…
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Life, Faith, & Cigars | Steve Reiter Interview
1:20:22
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1:20:22
Today I’m joined by Steve Reiter. We discuss his upbringing, his career at Focus On The Family, The Never Alone Project, and how he came to be one of the founders of Holy Smokes; a international network of men who gather weekly and share life over cigars. I joined my local group a few months ago and it has been life changing. Today we extend an inv…
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If you’re utopian towards yourself, you will be dystopian towards others.*TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT JUSTIFYING SOCIAL MEDIA COMPANIES REMOVING HIM. But, everyone is going to be covering that part of the story so I wanted to go somewhere else with this.* Link to the original conversation: https://youtu.be/4AWLcxTGZPA…
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The Energy Tank | How Relatability Killed Intentionality
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11:57
Dennis Prager once said “Without courage it’s impossible to do good.” But it just as easily might be said “Without energy it’s impossible to do good.” Today we look at relatability vs intentionality, then; explore how we’re unintentionally making ourselves exhausted. Every moment spent on social media involves heated debates, half naked people, fal…
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“You go NPC all day, then you come home and be Audience.” In a world of constant change, the necessity of individual agency is higher than ever. Taking the standard path, getting a standard job is being replaced by a world of regular career change and “side hustles”. At the same time, generational separation, homogenizing education, and constant di…
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Who We Are, How We Change, & Where To Aim
49:23
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49:23
Today I join my dad over coffee to discuss The Four Temperaments, Maslow‘s Hierarchy of Needs, and what ‘Good’ actually means in hopes that we might better understand who we are, why we can’t seem to change, and what it is that we should be aiming at.“The meaning of life is to alleviate unnecessary suffering.” -Jordan PetersonMore on the temperamen…
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The Cannibalistic Modern Dating Machine
7:10
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7:10
Read the piece: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/the-cannibalistic-modern-dating-machine?r=rep67&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=directRead Mary’s piece: https://unherd.com/2021/11/the-sexual-revolution-killed-feminism/Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Today my new friend Peter Keller joins me for a wide ranging discussion on everything from our current YouTube obsessions, missionaries and capitalism, Legalism and art, and all things faith. Whatever you’re dealing with today, I hope this keeps you company. CHECK OUT PETER’S WRITING: https://kellerpeter.substack.comP.s. @davidbates yes I know ‘Pin…
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Rise Of The Machines | identity in a post-internet landscape
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13:17
Join the community! https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/rise-of-the-machinesEmail me: notavictimpodcast@gmail.comFor months I’ve pondered this question: What is it about the way we live today that creates the necessity for many to ask questions as basic as, “am I really male?” What unnoticed patterns contribute to our dislocation? And where do we go…
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Rene Girard & Wokeness | Unmasking The Scapegoat
20:54
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20:54
Read the piece: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/rene-girard-and-wokenessOleh Zach Rudolph
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Sleep: An Acknowledgement of God
11:08
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11:08
Today we look at the interplay between Sanity, Surrender, & Sleep.“The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.” -G.K. Chesterton Read the article: https://newpolity.com/blog/the-politics-of-insomniaCheck out what’s new on my substack: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/?utm_sourc…
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The future: https://zachrudolph.substack.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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Read the article: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/evangelicalpulpit/2021/11/modern-worship/Have feedback? Notavictimpodcast@gmail.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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Faith, C. S. Lewis, & Everything | David Bates Interview
1:20:15
1:20:15
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1:20:15
Today I chat with David Bates. David hosts the C.S. Lewis podcast “Pints With Jack” We get into his personal story, How Lewis has changed both of us, and just generally have a great conversation on all things faith. Join us! Check out his podcast! https://open.spotify.com/show/66miEEuk7tFMDk72a2LIcL?si=H227X2jcQUOxvQaXFncmAwHave feedback? Email me …
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Self Obsession Is Short Term Thinking
11:52
11:52
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Steven Furtick is getting pwned after his silly comment the other day. I’m no theology expert so I thought we’d look at his comment from a different angle… forget moral, does a self centered religion even do the one thing it promises? (Namely, Make you happy)?Oleh Zach Rudolph
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Is there a connection between constant distraction and overall dissatisfaction? I believe there is. So I decided to try something. If you’re interested in joining me, go to settings > accessibility > Display and Text Size > Color FiltersOleh Zach Rudolph
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Here’s a quick overview of what I’ve been working on! Excited to be back with you all soon!Oleh Zach Rudolph
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What happens when a society no longer values standards?Modernity believes killing ideals will increase the value of the ordinary. The truth however, is that; without Perfect there is no Decent. “Every ideal is a judge.” -Jordan Peterson Dive deeper: Little Places & The Recovery of Civilization by Eva Brann https://theimaginativeconservative.org/202…
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How is happiness found? One view is, happiness is having no problems. To be met with no obstacles and live with no attachments... To do what you want, when you want. The other view is that; happiness is having good problems. To face real challenges, to live with real stakes, to have a Everest worth climbing. We don’t change unless we have to. Witho…
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Check out the article: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/jordan-peterson-stranger-things-andOleh Zach Rudolph
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I’m sick of playing defense. I’m sick of lamenting. It’s time to stop reacting and state our case Before it’s too late.Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.comOleh Zach Rudolph
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NEW EYES: Escaping The Undertow of Self Sabotage
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Under every vice is a need. Under every moment of self sabotage is a longing. The longer we pretend it isn’t there, the longer we draw out the pain. Today on Not A Victim, how do we get past the beliefs that hold up the walls of our isolation so we might begin to see with new eyes? “I know too muchI think I know my way around,Too smart to feel a he…
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Nihilism, C.S. Lewis, & The Joy of Inferiority
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Today we explore the stupidity of “Happy Nihilism” then dive into an excerpt from “The Weight of Glory” by C.S. Lewis “That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete.” -Willa CatherCheck out my articles! https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/the-necessity-and-impotence-of-fame?justPublished=trueSources: https://www.google.com/amp/s/paulvan…
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Trying something new… https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/megachurch?r=rep67&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copyOleh Zach Rudolph
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What props up our anxiety? What lies are going undetected? Do we quietly believe that we are responsible for everyone and everything? Today we get into moral OCD, shame, and the way out. “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is opportunities to trust.” -Mother TeresaMore on Moral OCD: https://www.accounseling.org/religious-and-moral-scr…
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Metaphysical Variety Hour with Jimmy Akin!
1:27:11
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Today I’m joined by Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin for a wide ranging discussion on; The future of Christianity, Christian art, Ghosts, Psychic abilities and much more! Check out his podcast! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jimmy-akins-mysterious-world/id1423288932Oleh Zach Rudolph
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NOISE: (Dis)integration, Boredom, & The Way Home
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In a world without God, all that’s left to do is “amuse ourselves to death”. In his novels, Walker Percy described the boredom and anxiety of a society who; having left its beliefs in higher things, wanders from pleasure to pleasure looking for fulfillment. Today on Not A Victim, we look at the state of the modern mind and how God can still save us…
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Land Of The Safe, Home Of The Afraid
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After all our talking, all our singing, what happens to the world when; deep down religious people are just as panicked and filled with the fears of the day as the society around us? What does that say about what we truly believe?If your faith doesn’t protect you from the fear of life, what good is it? Fear is a punishment. Is the death of body the…
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After last week’s episode I asked people this question:how did your life go differently than you thought growing up and where have you found joy in unexpected places? These are their stories. Thanks to everyone who shared their story! I hope they bless you!Oleh Zach Rudolph
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For most of us, life doesn’t turn out like we pictured. Even those who become their childhood idols often find that it feels different than they thought it would. As a result we often live in daydreams of denial because we don’t want to admit; that deep down, we gave up on ourselves. But this is not the end. Today on Not A Victim, what to do when d…
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Do you ever find yourself using stress as a motivator? Today we dive into a piece by Psychology Today on the interplay between Stress, Anger, & Adrenaline and what can be done about it. Email me: notavictimpodcast@gmail.comhttps://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-another-name-pain/201912/the-connection-between-anxiety-an…
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There are two moral systems. One says morality is a fog of culturally dependent norms created by a humanity which is alone in the universe. The other teaches that morality is like a mosaic. Every situation is made up 100’s of prior decisions each of which determines the correctness of how we see the world. That morality is a process of discovery, n…
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BONUS EPISODE: The State of Masculinity
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“The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he’s used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails.” -John EldredgeThis is a recent conversation between my dad and I about the epidemic of male loneliness, the importance of integrity, and how to find meaning in it al…
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Modernity is Fractured. Our beliefs are fractured, our minds are fractured, & our daily lives leave us feeling disconnected. As the social fabric disintegrates, we pull inward, where (we think) it’s safe. But this separation has its own cost. Rather than experiencing life as one part of a bigger plan, We become trapped as the gods of the tiny world…
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Why do we feel so numb? Is there a connection between the pace of modern life and our feeling of numbness? What false conception of humanity holds it up? Should we not be happier than those that came before us, given our many conveniences? Why do we feel so distant? Today on Not A Victim.“The more machines begin to act like men, the more men begin …
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Temptation plays on our weakness. It tells us we’re nothing. It tangles us in webs of lies and traps us in cycles of self destruction. But what’s it’s antidote? Beyond just saying no, how do we dig down to the roots of where it’s grown and rip it out of our lives?What needs have we ignored that make it’s pull so strong? What dreams did we let die? …
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Do you ever feel like there’s always commentary running in the back of your head and no matter what you can’t turn it off? So much of my life has been ruined by an inability to experience things. Scripture says “Today I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”We may think th…
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The Strange Death of Imagination
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Someone once said “You can judge the depth of a spirituality by the beauty of the art it produces.” What does this say about the depth of modern Christianity? Have we quietly given into the materialist belief that matter is all there is? If our ability to imagine all of life within a Christian framework dies, our ability to defend it will die with …
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