Those darn TOTC boys are back at it again to ruin more of your beloved childhood memories! This week, the lads have some thoughts on national service, find a wizard, and give a much better comedy duo a podcasting idea... It's TOTC, baybeeeeee! Currently Brainstorming: Jay's Newest Addiction, Raspberry Boy, The Boozone, The Offering, National Servic…

The boys have escaped the Astral Dimension and only Dave is really worse for wear. Owen and Jay are still alive and this week they talk about the American Diet, Nerds on Twitter, Robots having the sex and how to raise the next generation of Philosophers. It's the Think of the Children you know and love, here like a beacon in these dark times Curren…

Owen and Jay are back after a tumultuous 2020. They explain where they've been, what's coming next, apologise profuesly for their absence and ask if you'd like Cocaine or Pepsi. Short Answer: Patrons, check your emails over the next week, everyone else, new epsisode next week.

Oops! It's been 3 Months! Global Pandemics are bad for productivity, it turns out! Either way, the boys are back on the open road to do the nasty thing you love so much. This time around, we turn some bath toys into murderers, teach the children that everything they do is useless and develop some fun flash games to teach the kids about the existent…

This week, the boys are joined by reptile lover and the host of Talking With Dinosaurs, Stefan Ayto! They kind of owe him one, you'll see why. They also recreate the epic of Gilgamesh, insult two of New Zealand's national heroes, and get Henry Cavill fans riled up as they put him in schoolgirl uniforms. We're here in the time of crisis, it's Think …

Kids, I won't lie, this one goes off the rails a little bit towards the end. It's good shit, but we've both gone a little stir crazy, apparently. This week, the lads praise the efficiancy of Herod, publically dunk on Piers Morgan, and create some terrible puppet creations... Again. Strap in, friends, it's gonna get bumpy. Currently Brainstorming: V…

Well friends, we've arrived at the big 5-0. It's a feature length presentation of our fetid, dirty crimes against your nostalgia, and we did it just for you...Enjoy the 50th Episode of Think of the Children, and the last episode for the year. We love you, thank you for the support <3Music:Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circlin…

It's Spooky Episode 2.0, baybee! We got more scares, more ghouls and more physical manifestations of your deepest darkest fears. Roll up, roll up, come see the spectral troupe, the wholesome sex-worker ghost, and the scariest thing of all... corporate takeovers. Listen to the new episode... if you dare... Currently Brainstorming: Owen's Very Cursed…

This time around, the lads put a young science boy through some harrowing shit, make a new superhero team in space, make sex fun (finally) and partake of the finest cuts of dong this side of the Thames. Yet more goofs and good products from the boys you love! Currently Brainstorming: Knee Girls, Spicy Bath, Jim Pachmans, Flat, Long, Cock Rings, The…

This week, the lads do the stuff you love, like make a Finger Puppet Monstrosity, help a soft drink create the corporate monopoly it needs to lauch us into an Eleven Herbs and Spices Cyberpunk Future, and make a Furby you can fuck. Oh and there's more Jojo jokes. It's all here and it's all completely fucking putrid. Currently Brainstorming: Dental …

The boys are on a fucking roll this week, as our capitalist asses do the nasty thing to expoit your memories for profit. This week, we teach the boomers how to bend, ressurect Demons from the Ninth Pit, give a child an egG, and given Helen Mirren the Minerals she so desperately needs. It's think of the children! Currently Brainstorming: Robo-Hosts,…

The boys are big dummies that just sort of... forgot to record an episode this week? So in it's stead, Owen has thrown together some of the best bits from the last year and a half of doing this dumb show, and splaying them up, back to back, for your enjoyment. It might be old, and barely qualifies as gold, it's Think of the Children! Music: Intro: …

We took another break, so sue us. However, we're back on our weekly bullshit! Owen gets hyperfixated on a specific type of wine, Jay commits fully to canibalism, and the boys go totally tubular and ressurect a "beloved" piece of 90's fashion. It's all here on this week's Think of the Children! Currently Brainstorming: The Cucking Stool, The Baby Po…

We're back after a not so short break! This week, Jay and Owen explain their dark sacrament involving the McNamara Family, rocket John Malkovich into new heights of stardom, as John Goodman, create a dark spherical new world in which we drive Micheal Cera insane, and the lads get bamboozled by Capitalism. It's all here, and it's back, baybeee! Curr…

This week, Jay is off being a good good physics boy, so Ismay Hutton (@aTeacupGamer) joins Owen in the office to do the nasty thing. This week, we go after that good SEO Juice and talk about Sonic. A lot. We also add parrots filled with disinfectant to all supermarkets, create a new iconic piece of merch, and (counterproductivley) fix Ismay's child…

Buckle the fuck up, kids, this one gets wild. Owen finds he's closer to a folk tale than he might think, Jay ingests crocodile penis, we dunk on horses and find help a young boy find the chaos emeralds. Strap in, get ready to laugh. Currently Brainstorming: Throwbacks, Bat Puns, Berserk Cauldron, Oblivion Soapbox, Cyber Dong, The Blockening Part 8:…

We're back after a week off! This week, the lads do some truly terrible shit to a *lot* of planes, give Ballet an all new cultural significance, create a fun new video game about MILFs, and help a plucky little helicopter destroy all of anime. Also mid-2000's memes get a resurgance, it's buck-wild. Currently Brainstorming: Jay gets Fingerblasted, G…

Yes, we're really calling the episode that, no we don't care about optics. The boys are back, sporting a fresh new look! This week, we make one old woman the new cornerstone of all anime, take on a military contract and make a rad new Nintendo 64 game. It's the boys you love with a fresh coat of paint!Currently Brainstorming: Bad Jokes, Cock Exerci…

It's our birthday, and we'll podcast if we want to! We've been ruining childhoods for a calendar year now, so we decided to go back to our first episode and re-ruin all the stuff we did then, with a hot new twist. This week, we teach the children vital office skills, send the office to Deep Space, create a dark clown entity and ask "What if Childre…

This week, the boys make up for Jay forgetting about the gays so often, by getting very very gay! This week, we make some art-house cinema, some fun new cocktails, and make children terrified of the thing they love most! Come in, stay a while, we have Greek Statues...Currently Brainstorming: Finishing the Fight, The Gooseberry Fool Returns, Stupid …

WELP. We jump the horny shark a little bit on this one, gang, won't lie. However, it's still very good. This week, Owen and Jay make a tremendous discovery, put discuss the finer details of Racoon sex, and raise an army of Chinchillas. It's all here and it's all gross.Currently Brainstorming: Chinchilla Delivery Service, The Final Boss of Rat Fucki…

It's a few days late, because production schedules, am I right? This week, Jay brings a chaotic energy into the studio, which in turn, affects the podcast. However, we still create a Lovecraftian nightmare, give a cryptid a reality show, and create a dastardly serial killer that would *get it*. It's more you love from the boys you love!Currently Br…

The boys are back in town! This week, Owen and Jay discuss a fun new tasty, and deadly, microtransaction. That's just the start! Also, half the goddamn episode disappears into the ether and we had to record a new second half! But despite that it's still really really good? We're firing on full this week!Currently Brainstorming: The Aardvark Wars, O…

Jay's back and he's hornier than ever. In this All-Disney/Pixar episode of Think of the Children, we make some Kingdom Hearts jokes, make ocean cum, and make Harvey Wienstien no longer alive!Currently Brainstorming: Kingdom Hearts Jokes, Think of the Children: A Musical, Contract Law, Brexit Update!, Ocean Cum/Land Cum, Telling Harvey Wienstien to …

This week, Jay is off to do his exams, so Owen is joined in the offices by friend of the show, voice of Ronah on Not Saving the Realm and good Dad, Bonnie Lewis! This week, we do something significant for Mumford and Sons, revive classic 70's Stop Motion, and give Seth Green work, cause lord knows he needs it.Currently Brainstorming: Futher's Day, …

It's 2019, and your favorite boys are back in the office! Jay's got a new mic, Owen has a new sense of self-worth and it's all fucking rosy. This week, we have children fighting animals, children fighting with extinct animals, Murder Most Foul, and a Sociopathic Journalist! It's all here, and it's all the worst on Think of the Children!Currently Br…

Ding Dong Merrily on High, Children, it's Christmas Time here in our office. All the employees have gone home for the holidays... those that survived, anyway. Cha'boys are still here burning the midnight oil for one last blow out show for the year. This week, we punch some babies, give Jesus the chance to bite back, get some kids drunk, and worship…

This week, the boys figure out their Wu Tang names and the Wu Tang Names of their pen names. In addition, we give mice the anarchic revolutionary icon they so desperately crave, go round the twist, and finally, reach apotheosis: create furry porn. It's all here this week!Currently Brainstorming: Sewer People/Anime Fans, The Code Word, No Gods, No M…

With the news that Tumblr is waging a war on porn, we pick up the slack and do what is probably our horniest episode yet. Which is saying a lot, especially for us. This week, we create a fun new fruit snack, make some original IP and teach the children the value of disappointment.Currently Brainstorming: Female Presenting Nipples, The Poddy Awards,…

Is this The End of Think of the Children? I mean, no, it isn't, but we got you there for a second, huh? This week, we take a look at some magnetic toys, some marionettes and create a potato abomination of which we are ashamed. Enjoy!Currently Brainstorming: Name Confusion, Nonchalant Murderers, Jay's Brazzer's Story, Gundambirds, Hooded Dark Magici…

I mean no hyperbole when I say that this is our best episode yet. It's a yuck a minute, we really on the fuckin ball with this one. As well as giving Cera some work, we also kick Jeff Bezos around some, break Jay's heart, and send some puppets off to war. It's a fucking *rollercoaster* my dudes.Currently Brainstorming: McNamara = Best Girl, Jugglin…

We're still off schedule, but we ain't stopping! This week, the boys reach deep into the Bear well. Owen creates a fantastic new anime OP, Jay hates art, and the boys kill a bunch of aspiring celebrities while they race towards a boat.Currently Brainstorming: Jay's Dick, Animal Economics, Pot Shots at Nomura, BTEC Lego, Bearem Anime, Hetalia 2: We …

After the spirits got inside Owen's PC and done broke it, it's our Halloween special! Only 4 days late! Which is incredibly on brand for us, if you think about it. This week, we get very horny, drag each other to hell and ruin a cult classic, all while talking about various types of jizz. So you know, on brand again.Currently Brainstorming: Jay's P…

The title is a funny joke about how the episode is both weirdly centred around dogs, and also how it's because we're ill. It's funny. Laugh. Either way, the boys are back off hiatus to continue to do that funky thing they do so good and mess your nostalgia up proper, like, guv.Currently Brainstorming: Cap Conversion, Jay kills the brand, We lose th…

A day late, sure, but we still here! Jay is back and has virtually nothing to contribute. This week, we sell out, invent a new type of nature documentary, introduce a new segment and break a few eggs.Currently Brainstorming: Hot Otaku, Phantom Flatmates, Sexual Congress, Mini? Cheddars, Radioactive Spider Cum, Holy St. Brendan, No Blood, Just Spide…

This week, Jay has fucked off to Spain, and therefore missed out on this three-way (podcast) between Owen and the hilarious ladies from the #relevant podcast, Erin and Kaedi! Join us as we talk about Sex Amazon, killing children on the playground and on the Oregon Trail via opioids! It's a fucking buck-wild ride, dog, buckle up.Currently Brainstorm…

The Exec Boys Made Good are back for another episode. This week, we tackle the impeccable acting skills of Brendan Fraiser, Weeaboos, Jedward, and sliding into the DM's of the Commander in Chief. You're welcome ;)Currently Brainstorming: Dog Rights, Dressing Gown Etiquette, A Field Guide to Dragons, Charisma given Flesh, An Amazing Beautiful Good B…

The boys are back in town, this week mainly hitting up shows about bands featuring rodents and marsupials. We also fuck around with cryptids and Dolph Lundgren, which is a recipe for disaster.Currently Brainstorming: Amateur Topology, Nald/Noel the Gold Dragon, The Not so Secret Saturdays, Interview with a Monster, The Meme Review, Hedgehog Canon, …

After another strage break, Owen and Jay return in a tour de force to talk about boning on the high seas, geometry wars, the French Aesthetic and go off on yet more weird tangents. It's all you love from the boys you love, it's Think of the Children!Currently Brainstorming: Fake Lottery Tickets, Extraplanar Rhombuses, Lizard Porn, The Shadow over t…

We're back! This time around, we lean hard into puppetry, old school cartoons, and the terrifying knowledge that we are simply cogs in a machine running slowly towards the heat death of the universe. It's all fun and games on Think of the Children!Currently Brainstorming: Office Architecture, The Bay of Carolina, Nihilism, The chances of anything c…

This week, we're joined by a special guest, Ismay (aTeacupGamer), and we're all very tired! This translates to us all slowly losing our sanity and Jay turning into a maniacal supervillainCurrently Brainstorming: A Prepared Statement, Pizza Gremlins, Nautical Sex, A Very Horny Fish Themed Zoombini Fuck Adventure, Monika gets in the waveforms, Snake …

This episode is really horny for some reason? We talk about fuckin' like a lot, idk. There are jokes in here, too though, so it's all good stuff as per.Currently Brainstorming: Subway Mathematics, Jay's Travel Stories, Glacier Pacing, Innuendo Jinx, Dick Jokes... again, The Bubonic Plague, Banana Hype, You're a rapper, Charlie Brown! Music History …

We're broadening our horizons here at TOTC, now everything is welcome. TV, Movies, Toys, Food, The Outdoors, The concept of youth itself, it's all here and all ripe for destruction...Currently Brainstorming: The Goblin Curse, Politics!, An expanded perspective, Rita, Atrius [sic], Action Bloke, The Book of Cretins, Space Pineapple, Frozen Vodka, To…

This week, we're back to being idiots surrounding a box, lean hard into hot puppet on puppet action, force political dichotomies to co-exist in literally the same body, and discuss vore some more because of course we do.Also Owen talks about musicals again, because he's a jackass.Currently Brainstorming: Utter failure, The worst pun, Jizz, Too Many…

We're getting intellectual at TOTC Towers and are taking a look at some books! They're like TV without pictures. Join us again as we make some children's lives more miserable, ramble for 20 minutes about Warrior Cats and establish a brand new religion...Currently Brainstorming: The Highest Praise, The Great Undertale Debate, Lemony Snickerdoodle's …

The office is very hot and we probably both have heatstroke, so the format is a little different this week. We roll all of our ideas together into one hot, sticky mess that just gets... everywhere. Also if you actually wanna remake The Last Jedi, this one probably ain't for you. Just a heads up,Currently Brainstorming: Arguing about Mass Effect Fie…

Jay returns from his voyage into the ether, and he's ready to ruin your childhood like old times. This time we talk about weird animation, dating sims, profound japanese shit, and continue to revolutionise the British prison system.Currently Brainstorming: Ravaged by Disease, Apologies to Jay's Girlfriend, Psycho-Sexual Cowboys, The jokes just stop…