Chris Coursey brings you the THRIVEtoday podcast, full of real-life stories of encouragement and transformation from people using relational skills every day! www.thrivetoday.org
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Join therapists Jerry Sander & Kristy Gaisford as we look at both the hard truths, and joys, that accompany intimate relationships. Our perspective is personal, practical and based on experience: we've both been married, divorced, and married again after finding great partners for our second marriages. (Both of us had four children apiece in our first marriages; Kristy has four step-children in her second one). Both of us maintain relationally-focused private therapy practices, focusing on c ...
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How can you tell when you lose your peace? What about when the people around you lose their peace? Chris shares about how to notice your peace level and how to refresh it when your peace is gone. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 2: Simple Quiet 🔗 Skill 13: Godsight - theory course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Patriarchy In Our Relationships
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Jerry and Kristy consider the thorny impact of worldwide patriarchy on the way we function in our relationships. Alternative models are considered, as well as an understanding of how the status-quo we were born into results in a bad deal for both men and women.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Our friend Jessie DeCorsey shares her story out of perfectionism and striving. How can we release our fear of failure that and start seeing situations through God's eyes? This episode explores that journey towards Godsight and encourages us that change is possible! 🔗 Jessie DeCorsey's website - Buy her book! 🔗 Transforming Fellowship book 🔗 Foundat…
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Chris explains what "the sark" is, how it interacts with the relational brain skill of "Stop the Sark" (Skill 14), and what Jesus has to say about it. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 14 - Stop the Sark 🔗 Free Webinar: My Life Through God's Eyes 🔗 Skill 13 in our Foundational 5 resources 🔗 Check out our self-paced relational skill courses Thank you for lis…
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E42 Creative Ways to Practice with Children
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Helping children build capacity and practice skills is something we can make a daily habit of in our lives. Dan and Betty share fun and helpful ways they have shared relational skills with children in many different settings in their lives. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids Book 🔗 28-Day Joy Challenge Thank you for listening! Subscribe so y…
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Everything Breaks; Most Gets Fixed
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You know the feeling when you just want to throw things away? When one too many things have occurred and you would just love to get rid of things (or your partner?) instead of working to fix them? Jerry ponders the convergence of a number of mechanical breakdowns that came his way as Kristy puts it in context of the ever-present challenge of relati…
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Maturity - what it is and what it isn't! Chris shares things we can do to grow the maturity in our lives, our families, marriages and communities. 🔗 We go most indepth on this in our Premier Training. 🔗 For kids, check out 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids book. 🔗 There is also a chapter on this in the Transforming Fellowship book and Living From…
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E40 What Your Pain Says About You
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Your pain tells a story, and what bothers you can actually reveal some of your unique heart values! 🔗 Learn more about Skill 6 - Identify Heart Values 🔗 We go most indepth on this in Track One of our Premier Training. 🔗 See the Transforming Fellowship book. Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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E39 If You're Stuck in Your Healing
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Chris tackles the million dollar question,"If I'm stuck in my healing, what can I do?" You are not alone and there are some practical things you can do! 🔗 Watch our free 3-part webinar series "Unlock Your Healing" on YouTube Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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What role does our ego play in helping, or hindering, connection with our partner? Kristy & Jerry unpack some of this together. Jerry reports some about his travel to Southern India and how long it took him to finally unpack after returning.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Sometimes we fall out of relational mode in a situation, but we can repair by noticing, quieting, taking a break, and acting like ourselves again. Today you will hear a story from our teammate Lizabet for a great example of this. 🔗 Join a LIVE online practice class 🔗 Check out our 10-week online Habit Builder Groups Thank you for listening! Subscri…
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Chris talks through the importance of noticing how you are feeling in any present situation, and we hear a story from Annie, who walks us through a time in her life when she went on that journey of discovery. 🔗 Thrive Premier Training - What is it? 🔗 "Emotions That Energize & Drain" - Webinar Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out…
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E36 Navigating Emotions with Relational Skills
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In this episode, Chris shares a story about using relational skills to discover what his children were feeling and why, then deal with their big emotions in a relational way. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People Book 🔗 Raising Relational Kids Webinar Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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What If Your Partner Doesn't Want To Do "The Work"?
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It's more rare than we would like that both partners in a couple approach "the work" of behavioral change with the same intensity, at the same rate, and in the same way. What happens if one person is much more enthusiastic about "doing the work" than the other partner? Kristy and Jerry consider this in today's episode.…
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E35 Living an Immanuel Lifestyle
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Chris tells his own journey about learning how to relate with the Living God and shares tips to help you develop an Immanuel lifestyle. 🔗 "Is God in the Room?" - Skill 13 Theory Course 🔗 "My Life Through God's Eyes" - Skill 13 Webinar The Immanuel lifestyle is a pillar of The Life Model and involves developing Skill 13 (Godsight) in our lives. Than…
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E34 Expanding Capacity Through Practice
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Brittany describes how her capacity was low when she was first introduced to relational skills, but as she has practiced her capacity has expanded so that she can stay present during harder things. Her story references our 5-Day premier training, which Chris shares a little more about. 🔗 Thrive Premier Training - What is it? 🔗 The Foundational Five…
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E33 Why Capacity is Needed for Healing
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Why do many people who have been pursuing healing for a long time seem to get stuck? Chris shares about capacity and how that can help you deal with pain as it comes up in your life. 🔗 Unlock Your Healing - 3-part Webinar Series 🔗 The Foundational Five Introductory Course Want to do the course in a group? Email us for Facilitator Tips: info@thrivet…
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Memorable, highly-charged words and phrases are frequently heard in couples' therapists' offices. What they mean -- how they are understood between people who claim to love each other -- is often highly debatable and unclear. Jerry and Kristy try to translate some meanings in today's episode.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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E32 Intro to Maturity: How Maturity Protects What Matters Most
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In this episode, Chris introduces the maturity stages and tells a story about someone pausing their ministry to develop more maturity in their lives and the good things that came from that. 🔗 Thrive Premier Training What is it? 🔗 Living From the Heart Jesus gave You Book 🔗 Journey Groups Alive & Well Ministry Thank you for listening! Subscribe so y…
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An addict's path to recovery necessarily involves making amends and becoming more relational to the people around you whom you've wounded. But often people get caught at the "dry-drunk" phase, don't do the relational work (despite 12-step groups' encouragement to do so) and the very process of recovery can attain a familiarly selfish flavor. Jerry …
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E31 How Relational Skills Save the Day!
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Why is it important to have relational skills? Why do we need to practice these skills regularly? Chris shares what happens in our brains and body when we are in upset and tells us a story to illustrate how relational skills can help. 🔗 Spreading Relational Skills - Workshop on Feb 15, 2024 🔗 "How the Relational Skills Address My Biggest Problems?"…
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E30 Recognizing Capacity and Overwhelm
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Kāmi tells a story about noticing when she was overwhelmed and how she connected with Jesus to return to joy and peace. 🔗 The Joy Switch Book 🔗 The Skill 0 Theory Course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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The Challenge of Blended Families
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It's not always The Brady Bunch. In fact, it almost never is. Kristy and Jerry explore some of the dynamics at work for members of blended families and try to "right-size" expectations to maximize opportunities for natural connections.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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E29 Helping Kids Gain the Lost Art of Relational Skills
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How can we help our kids grow relational skills? Chris discusses how to attune to and share the good stuff with our kids in a way that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids Book 🔗 Thriving Mamas Blog Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Chris tells the story of some friends of his who learned about relational skills later in life and how it transformed their family. 🔗 The Foundational Five Introductory Course Want to do the course in a group? Email us for Facilitator Tips: info@thrivetoday.org Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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E27 The Peace That Passes Understanding
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Jen tells a story about a time when she was able to connect with Jesus and not feel alone in a scary situation. As we celebrate Jesus' birth, let's treasure the gift of His presence in the good times, and in the hard ones. 🔗 Learn More About Skill 13 🔗 Take our Skill 13 theory course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on futur…
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When things go wrong, how do we stay the best, most relational version of ourselves? This episode discusses how to mess up well and recover from big emotions that can arise. 🔗 Thriving Mamas Blog Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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E25 Is Sustainable Joy Possible?
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Chris talks about how to keep the flames of joy alive through the stress and busyness of life. 🔗 The Joy Switch Book 🔗 The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People Book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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E24 When I Don't Have Someone to Practice With
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Anni talks about the challenges of practicing skills while living alone and some creative strategies she uses to practice and grow. 🔗 Connect with friends near and far with Holiday Connections Bingo! 🔗 Join our next Habit Builder Group and practice relational skills online. Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes…
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Ahhhh...The Holidays. They are already here, and we are already scrambling to try to extract the maximum amount of family happiness and connection from situations that can also offer confusion, old, unresolved situations, things-out-of-left-field, financial stress, arguments and large amounts of stress or depression. Still, it is possible to put to…
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Jen shares about her fear surrounding giving, and how connecting with Jesus about it turned the opportunity for generosity into joy. 🔗 The Fun of Generosity booklet This week is Giving Tuesday - If you would find joy in partnering with THRIVEtoday with a financial gift, you can give here: https://thrivetoday.org/investintheskills/. Whether you give…
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E22 Learning to Incorporate Practice Into Your Day
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How do you incorporate relational skills into your day? Even when your life is busy and you can't give a lot of time to developing new skills, there are some little things that go a long way to grow good things in your life. 🔗 28 Day Joy Challenge Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Jerry and Kristy express their gratitude for the people, places and things in their lives, with a particular focus on their respective relationships. Being able to extract, and express, gratitude for that hard things that are learned as part of the growth-edge that relationships bring is the Advanced Class. Our best efforts are required, and are re…
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This episode discusses how to notice when you are missing relational skills, how to identify what's missing and knowing when to stop. 🔗 Thrive Premier Training 🔗 The Joy Switch Book 🔗 Habit Builder Groups Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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Whether it is childhood trauma(s), the effects of societal prejudices, discrimination and stigmatizing or more recent adult losses of a traumatic nature, the ripple effects of trauma is shared with our partner in relationships. Kristy and Jerry ponder the wide-ranging effects of this in presenting challenges to intimacy in relationships. And we end…
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Rebecca shares her story about how practicing relational skills has helped her when she feels anxiety, and helps her stay joyfully present in situations that were hard before. 🔗 Overcoming Anxiety - After-Event Course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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E19 Using Appreciation to Stay Relational Over The Holidays
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For some of us, the holidays can be a painful or stressful time. How can we use joy and peace to stay relational during these times? 🔗 Holiday Peace Toolkit PDF 🔗 Holiday Connections BINGO PDF Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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Shawnda tells about a time she attuned to her teenager instead of yelling for his attention, and the amazing results. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids Book 🔗 The Joy Switch Book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.Oleh Chris Coursey
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Do you ever feel strongly at emotional odds with most things around you? And then whether or not you are off-your-rocker and possibly The Problem because of being crazy? Just....different from others, in a major way? You aren't alone at all. Being overwhelmed by feelings -- and not feeling like they are seen and valued by those closest to you -- is…
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E17 Reading Your Body: The Brain's Canvas
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Chris shares the importance of paying attention to our bodies and being aware of how we are affected by what is going on in our lives and how we can affect our bodies by learning the relational skills of peace and joy. 🔗 Check out our Skill 0 Courses, specifically any of the body sections in the skill practice versions. Thank you for listening! Sub…
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We learn when other people tell stories about what they have experienced in their lives. In this episode, Chris shares how to get our brains in a trainable state so we can share the joy with each other. 🔗 The Joy Switch Book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Chris shares the foundational building block relational skills that have changed his life and are easy to share with friends and family. 🔗 The Foundational Five Introductory Course Want to do the course in a group? Email us for Facilitator Tips: info@thrivetoday.org Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Our religious upbringings -- or non-religious upbringings -- can have implications and repercussions for our later intimate relationships, the likes of which we likely hadn't considered. Jerry & Kristy discuss.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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E14 Connecting In Joy With Our Children
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Kristy describes how she shared joy with her children to strengthen relationships and form strong, secure attachments with each other. 🔗 Can I Experience Joy When I Don't Feel Happy? - Skill 1 | Webinar 🔗 How to Spread the Good Stuff - Joy Theory Course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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E13 Recognizing Attachment Patterns
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How do our bonding patterns affect our lives? How do our attachment styles form? Have your needs been met in predictable ways? Chris answers these questions and more to help us start down the path to joyful, secure attachments. 🔗 www.thrivetoday.org/whatisthrive 🔗 Transforming Fellowship book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out…
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Rewriting (Relationship) History
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Kristy & Jerry consider what happens when we, for one reason or another, remember only certain aspects of our most important relationships. We deny, or ignore, important things at a cost; recovery of all the layers of a relationship may be painful, but worth it.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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What is the difference between joy and happiness? Chris shares about how to live in joy and share the good stuff with those around us! 🔗 The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People Book | Ch. 1 - Myths about Joy Additional book resources: Joy Starts Here, The Joy Switch 🔗 Free Webinar: Can I Experience Joy When I Don't Feel Happy? Thank you for listening! Su…
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What's it like for you to be in a couple and to celebrate these special occasions? Or...not? What happens, for the couple, when these days roll around and either are celebrated, ignored or recognized in a less-than-satisfying way? Jerry and Kristy contemplate these things and more.Oleh Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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E11 Appreciation Affecting the Workplace
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How do you share appreciation and joy in the workplace? This episode shares a story from our friend Gina about how a little bit of creativity can go a long way to change the atmosphere and share the good stuff at work. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People Book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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E10 The Value of Appreciation in Marriage
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Appreciation is packaged joy, or actively recalling moments of joy. Chris tell us how important this is in marriage and how it reminds us about the "good stuff" in our marriage relationships. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages Book Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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