267 – 10 Ways to Fail as an Independent Artist

The New Music Industry Podcast | MusicEntrepreneurHQ.com | with David Andrew Wiebe

Do you wish you could be a spectacular failure in the music business? Are you looking for the step-by-step process that will make you an embarrassing disgrace to yourself, your family, and the world? That’s what we’re going to be looking at in this episode of The New Music Industry Podcast. Download the PDF Transcription Podcast Highlights: 00:32 – A framework for failure 00:52 – Be a jerk to everyone 01:17 – Flake out on everything 01:58 – Don’t improve as a musician 02:29 – Spend all your time on social media 03:18 – Don’t build email lists 03:55 – Make Spotify your sole source of income 04:34 – Don’t get expert coaching 05:16 – Don’t invest in your personal growth 05:56 – Don’t reinvest in your music career 06:29 – Remain a Blockbuster in the age of Netflix 07:00 – Episode summary Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 266 – The 5 Layers of Independent Music Success Leadpages The New Music Industry by David Andrew Wiebe Transcription: Hey, it’s David Andrew Wiebe. So, normally I talk about frameworks for success, just like in the last episode of The New Music Industry Podcast. This episode is going to be a little different. What follows is a framework for failure. Now, this might seem a little strange, but by the end of it, I think you will begin to see how powerful an exercise it can be. You’ll see what I mean. Let’s get into this. 1. Be a Complete Jerk Insult the people you meet. Make fun of your fans. Criticize and attack your bandmates. Curse the media. People are awful and they deserve to know just how much they suck and how much better you are. Hit on men or women who are already attached to someone else. Stay at hotel rooms, throw the TV out the window, and refuse to pay for your stay. Flip off everyone. They’re horrible people for not recognizing your greatness. 2. Be a Flake Don’t show up to band meetings or rehearsals. Don’t show up to gigs. Don’t show up to radio or podcast interviews. And if you do show up, make it an hour late, and pretend like you weren’t at fault. Make no excuses, no apologies, and put no effort into salvaging the opportunity or resolving the situation whatsoever. Be a person who promises big and delivers small. Or deliver nothing at all. Disappoint your friends, your family, your fans, and anyone else who dares express any interest in you. Make bad excuses. Say, “I’m washing my hair that night,” or “I’m tired,” or “I have to get up early tomorrow,” or “my dog ate my homework,” in contexts where it doesn’t make sense, and pretend like people buy your reasons for being absent. 3. Don’t Improve Spend no time whatsoever working on your craft. Don’t try to be better. Next time you have a show, or a new release, make no effort. Don’t practice. Don’t market. Don’t show up with new material unless it’s just as bad as your earlier works. Don’t engage the fans. Don’t engage the venue owner, event organizer, or anyone else connected to your show or project. Actively insult them instead. Give a half-assed attempt at everything, just to make sure your performances aren’t getting better. You don’t want to improve by mistake and give the wrong impression. 4. Rely Exclusively on Social Media Spend all your time and energy on social media. Create accounts far and wide – Bandcamp, Facebook, Fanbase, Instagram, LinkedIn, Medium, Pinterest, ReverbNation, TikTok, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, SoundCloud, YouTube, and any other sites you can find. Go join all the Web3 sites while you’re at it. Don’t post anything. Follow a bunch of people and leave useless comments on their posts, like fire emojis, and “DM us” or “promote it on” some random Instagram account no one has even heard of or cares about. It’s the classy thing to do. Use social networks for all the wrong reasons. Don’t network. Pretend like you’re more important than everyone else. Don’t promote unless you’re promoting a scam.